The fine art of persuasion is a much sought after but poorly mastered skill. We all have been in situations where we sometimes get frustrated over our inability to get others to listen to our ideas and suggestions, or experienced anger and annoyance at their unwillingness to follow instructions and answer important questions.

In her book Exercising Influence, Kim Barnes outlines the common tactics used by people to persuade or influence others. These include: tell, sell, negotiate, enlist, inquire, attune, and facilitate.

Tell: Suggestions are used to express needs and ideas to the other person. For example, "Why don't we go over the contract clauses once again to see if we can work out a compromise?" is a subtle suggestion aimed at influencing the other person to acquiesce; or something like, "The report has to be submitted to the CEO tomorrow. We need to complete the review by today afternoon", which is basically an expression of needs.

Sell: Logical reasons and motivational factors are used to sell' the idea to a person. For example, "If we share the work between us, we will be able to meet the deadline."

Negotiate: Incentives are offered in an effort to woo the other person and get his or her buy in. For example, "If you can pull off this project successfully, I will see that you get a big raise and promotion this year as a bonus."

Enlist: Appeal is made to the ego, values, ideals and aspirations of people. For example, "Will you do a favour and edit the report for me? You are the only person who can help me." Or " This issue has always been close to your heart. You must help us now."

Inquire: Questions are asked to draw out the other person and get more information. "Can you tell me what exactly you are looking for? I think we could work this out if we knew what kind of product you need."

Attune: Effort is made to put oneself in place of the other person, empathise and attune to the situation. For example, "If I were you, I would have handled this matter differently."

Facilitate: This technique is literally used to put words in the other person's mouth, so to speak. For example, "This dress really suits you. I think you should buy it."

Connecting with others and establishing genuine rapport is a very important part of effective persuasion. To be able to truly persuade other people to accept your ideas and point of view, you need to master a healthy combination of communication, presentation, relationship and assertiveness skills apart from the above influencing techniques.

It is important to keep in mind that effective persuasion is not about intimidation. Pulling, pushing, bullying, nagging does not get you what you want.
With the right influencing tactics, you can persuade anyone to follow your lead. You can get clients to buy more.

You can negotiate successfully. You can induce your co-workers to listen to your suggestions or convince your team to follow your instructions.

Effective persuasion helps get your ideas noticed, enhances your career, and improves relationship with others. It makes your job easier too.

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