Loving someone is more than just getting butterflies every time you think about them. It's more than wanting to be together, holding their hand, and finding them attractive. To love someone is not to 'need' them, but to want them even when you can't stand them.

When you are young, you'll probably think you're in love at least a couple of times before you really are. So how can you tell the difference between the real thing and mere infatuation?

The most telling factor is how you handle fights with this person. If you haven't even fought, you're probably not in love, because you're still too starry-eyed to get upset at them. When you do fight, is your first impulse to leave, end it? That's infatuation. If the only thing you can think about is how you're going to sort it all out and make things work, you're very likely in love. Love doesn't turn tail and run at the first sign of trouble.

Another way you can tell is if you truly have that person's best interest at heart. Sure, you care about people you have a crush on-but it's different. Try to think of the types of things your parents, or maybe your grandparents, do for each other. It's probably almost an automatic reaction for them to worry whether the other has eaten, is warm or cool enough, is feeling ok, is comfortable, and happy. Are these the types of things you want for your boyfriend/girlfriend? If you are thinking more about their well being than your own, it's probably love. Love is unselfish.

Infatuation often leads people to spend a lot of time trying to impress the other person. Worrying about how you look, what you say, and how you act every time you're around this person is something that fades away when you're in love. Why? Because you're comfortable with the person, you know it doesn't matter how your hair looks to them, and you can be yourself around them. Love is understanding and non-judgemental.

Also, love is not about just the physical and sexual aspects of the relationship. When you are infatuated, it seems that everything revolves around when you will next kiss that person, or touch them, and the sexual tension crackles in the air. Of course it's exciting, but it's not real love. When you love someone, you'll wait for them. You'll be satisfied just being with them, talking, cuddling, laughing together. Love is patient.

Last, you can tell you are in love when other crushes no longer matter. Granted, it is human nature to keep looking, but you no longer want to touch. You'll know it's love when you lose interest in going out with other people, when your thoughts center mainly around that one special person, and flattery from others cannot turn your head. Love is faithful.

Everyone always says that when you fall in love, you'll know it instinctively and in your heart. It's true.

Learn more about this author, Autumn J..
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