My partner, husband, confidant knows every tear I cry. He knows why and what for and usually before he even asks the question, "what's wrong". He speaks so softly that I barely hear him yet I know his care and concern runs deep. He sits beside me and wipes the wisps of hair from my tear streaked face and puts his arm around my shoulder. He holds me close, but I can't speak. Instead, I gulp in air trying to catch my breath and still he doesn't say a word. He knows I need to cry and by now he knows further that I don't want to be alone so he waits, patiently and silently. After a few moments I begin to blurt out meaningless sentences, words that aren't understood through the hiccups of trying to breath.

He puts his hand on my head and runs his fingers through my hair. It has stuck to my cheeks and the smoothing is rough but I allow him to continue; it feels like he is stroking my soul and piecing together the broken parts, healing the pain.

This simple act causes the tears to flow again and I realize that this man is so much in love with me and I hate the way I feel. His compassion is so great and I look up at him. He is smiling sweetly and softly kisses my lips and says "I love you so much". "How can you" I quietly reply, "look at me I'm finally getting old. All the trauma I've gone through has wrecked my body and I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror. How can you sit there and tell me you love me, I just don't get it"?

He takes my face in his hand and asks me "do you love me"? "Yes", I say, "with all my heart". He responds with "you mean my big stomach doesn't repulse you, my balding head hasn't made you want to find another man? The wrinkles and lines in my face and my broken body don't turn you off and make you wish you were with someone else?" "Of course not, I love you just the way you are. I will always love you".

He looked at me with the strangest look and asked me "what makes you better than me". At first I didn't understand but he just kept looking at me and I realized what he was saying. If I could love him with all his flaws, with the aging and the agony of growing old then why did I think he couldn't love me just the way I am and in the same manner I love him.

We are two people who came together and decided to make the journey through life together. To celebrate its joys and times of happiness and cry together through hardships and sadness. We determined that we would spend the rest of our lives together, through thick or thin and would always be truthful and honest with one another.

I guess I had forgotten we both made the promise, in the woods among the trees we said our vows to one another before we ever said them to a preacher. We said the words we wanted the other person to hear and understand and let them know we would always be there no matter what. I guess I had lost sight of what our relationship really meant but I remember now and the love of my life is with me today.

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