Humor: Excuses not to write 33 Articles

by Mark Hammerschmidt

You know how it works. You're riding the train into work... or mowing the lawn... or taking a bath... whatever it is you're doing... you are suddenly struck with a wonderful idea... the million dollar idea... the one that ...read more

by J.R. Lewis

I sit down and stare at my computer. It stares back and we're both blank. I pull Word Perfect and hope that brilliance flows from my pecking fingers. On occasion, I am lucky. Ideas are captured in that perfect fleeting...read more

by Donna Thacker

I've recently became aware that I have a serious condition that writing tends to aggravate. I was really shocked to discover that I have contracted a little known disease called "blinking star hysteria!" Please read more, ...read more

by Dawn Duddy

The dog ate my creative writing assignment. Seriously. I was in the mudroom pouring him a dish of kibble, and heard the oddest crunching noises coming from my bedroom! I rushed to see what the commotion was and found Fi...read more

by Cloe Marie

If there is one thing that we as humans all have the natural ability to do, it is make excuses. Excuses why the dishes are not done, why the dog still has not been fed, why we still did not start our diet yet. We can make ...read more

by Matt Lipford

The Chronicles of Boredom or Ways to Avoid Writing (I) More scraps of paper and disjointed scribblings of my thoughts converge; journals become chronological views of a flawed existence. But what is meant by "flaw...read more

by Hope Chow

My dog did not eat up my writing notes. Would I choose such a clichd excuse? There are no dogs in my home. My pet snails did the job. When I had finally come home after a long day of work, I realized that the pile of f...read more

by Vikki Belling

Do you often wake up in the morning with the sound of a drum pound, pound, pounding in your head? Or find yourself tossing and turning in the middle of the night drenched in your own sweat, fighting the urge to get up and...read more

by Ramarao Garimella or GV Rama Rao

BORN TO SUFFER. I had a terrible childhood. (This explains my present grumpy attitude and grotesque face.) First I was the second born to my parents. My elder brother used to get more attention and affection from my...read more

by J. M. Naydol

The problem with creative writing is that doing it implies you're creative. And the more creative you are, the more creative you can get with your excuses, even when it comes to something you love. Like that whole "writing...read more

by Gail Kiracofe

Today is the perfect day for writing. It's a beautiful autumn day, warm, but with a light, cool breeze. I have no appointments; no reason to have to leave the house. My computer is working perfectly. I live alone, so there...read more

by Stella Kaye

DIARY OF A HOPEFUL WRITER SEPT 1999 I've always wanted to write since early childhood and now I've turned forty I've decided its now or never...no more excuses... Sometime during the past week I decided to write a...read more

by Eliza RiVera

The Top Ten Excuses NOT To Write: ...read more

by Natalie Alabama

"My assignment is due two weeks from now. There's plenty of time to get it done." One week later: "What assignment? Oh, right, that one. I still have a week. If I start now, I'll forget to turn it in. I'll do it soon...read more

by Pamela Abbs

Let's see, what excuse do I come up with today? Actually, I don't make excuses, I simply come home from work, make dinner, do what needs to be done around the house, after I'm done with that, I sit down and watch televisi...read more

by Jasmine Hibbitt

The other day I heard these words from a fleeting background voice: "We are all an expert on something." It had been awhile since I felt so boosted. No one has ever called me an expert. I've been told I am not so bad at a ...read more

by Jobie Weetaluktuk

Last night or early this morning, I had a dream or a nightmare that my toenail was coming off. So I can't write. Sure it is not my fingernail or even thumbnail, but I still can't write. Never mind that it was only a dre...read more

by Marla Hansen

I love to write. It is my passion. So why is it that every time I determine to write, my head begins to swim with excuses to keep me from writing? If I had the answer to that, well, I would be published! Here is a typical ...read more

by Brian Eaton

How to write a rant: Spend day reading book and hiking mountain. "I'll do the rant tonight," you think. "Surely I will have come up with something by then." Finish book about 6pm. "Time to get started on rant, oooh...read more

by Nicole Woolsey

Ladies and gentlemen, my life is so incredibly pathetic and depressing that I've actually gone into a depression cycle. It's sad yes I know and not so much a laugh riot but I figure if you take pity on me maybe I'll at lea...read more