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WATCHING YOUR SIBLINGS DIE

My brothers and sister never leave my mind and now that i have reached 46 and married with children I now know the agony in their heart which they felt living this life and their families. The devastation cancer has brought to our family is indescribably. In 1984 my sister who was happily married with four children her youngest been only 8 months and the much wanted first son was diagnosed with cancer of lymph nodes. She naturally fought with all the strength she had to survive but there comes that point when you realize you are fighting a losing battle I was in late teens and my parents spent most of their time with her doing their best for her but no parent should have to watch their children die before them , only now that i have children do i realize how raw that pain was.

At the morgue on the morning of her her removal my brother who was 24 at the time refused to see her and became very distraught only he knew why but we were soon to discover. He was diagnosed with a tumor on his aorta that same week and when he went into hospital for an operation we didn't think all this could be happening again. We nearly lost him on the table after a ten hour operation, but thankfully he survive another two years. He had a different attitude to dying he just decided he was going to live his life for now and do everything he wanted to in life and have no regrets and i can honestly say he did just that.. travelling, learning to swim stuff like that. I so loved him so much and even today the pain is so raw the pain so deep its like a physical pain in my chest which travels down my arms. Ir was so devastating to me personally to lose him . At the time home nursing care was unavailable so my aged parents and myself took care of him in the last few months, My dad took care of him during the night and my mother and myself during the day when my dad got some rest. We had many fun days and deep chats with him and he seemed different resigned closer to god i dont know but serene with what was going to happen. When he died my life felt like it ended and i am sure my parents felt the same. We were close, there was only two years between us and funny enough even though he was older I always took care of him as a child, no one messed with him when i was around but i couldnt help him now. Cancer makes you feel so helpless, you are not in control anymore. It made him so angry when people said be positive be positive. I never met anyone so positive

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