I am torn by this question, because I think that there is entirely too much emphasis put on grades in America. Yes, we need some way of judging what our children are learning and we obviously want them to get the best possible education. However, the truth is, grades might not be a very accurate method of assessing learning. Often they are more accurately reflections of a child's ability to memorize information or their difficulty when it comes to taking tests. However, that is an entirely different article.

Assuming that good grades are considered important in your family and that you child has up until this point been receiving acceptable grades, a dramatic drop in performance could be a red flag. Childhood and adolescence is such a difficult time in life, its a wonder that we even survive it. Unfortunately, the stresses and dangers facing our children today only seem to be increasing in quantity and intensity. There are literally thousands of problems that could be plaguing your child.

The only smart option here is communication. Talk to you child. Hopefully, you have an open enough relationship that they feel that they can confide in you. Don't be offended if they hesitate - it probably has more to do with their age and what they're going through than how they feel about you. You should, however, be very careful in the way that you address the situation. If you yell at them and ground them for a month and then attempt to have a meaningful conversation with them, you're not going to get very far. If you are angry at their disappointing marks, wait until you have relaxed a bit so that you can approach them in a calm manner. Let them know how concerned you are about them and don't make them feel as if they are bad or stupid for getting a less-than-desirable grade.

While you don't want to start to nose around in their life, this might be a good time to contact some of their teachers. I'm not suggesting that you call up their teachers and chew them out for giving your child a poor grade. Approach them just as you did your child. Express your concern about the situation and ask them for the reasoning behind the low score and if they have any insight into what might be causing the problem. Teachers see a whole different side of children's lives that are unknown to parents. They see them interacting with their peers within a classroom setting and they often know about things going on in your child's social circle. If your child's grades dropped due to a traumatic event or a falling out with friends, you child's teacher might know a great deal more than you do. If the poor grade is nothing more than the result of your child struggling with the suject matter, their teacher will be able to help with this as well.

Hopefully you can get to the bottom of things by sitting down and listening to your child. Then, working with your child and possibly their teacher, you can help them to do what they need to do to get their grades back up.

Learn more about this author, Marie Gerber.
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