They say that you will never know what you've got until they're all gone. You will never realize the worth of a person not unless you lost them. Sometimes love is so ironic. You long for somebody who already leave and aim for somebody you cannot have. But you cannot find ways on how you will value those people who is with you at the moment. Well, here I am again, just being bitter again. I hate the feeling, but like most people, I love hurting myself. It seems like finding the truth, though I know those stuff will surely hurt me, still I find ways to get them. And when I already get them, I don't know how to accept them.

I am sitting here, trying to start writing another article of my life. But the truth is I am so afraid to start it. I think about it like almost two nights, if I would still write about these things or not. I'm afraid to get hurt again, for I know that reminiscing about these passed and realizing how stupid I am for letting him go will surely kill my heart. But I don't know how, where did I find courage to start keying my keyboard and searching words from what I really feel at the moment and start sharing these only regret I have. I hope somehow, this would ease the pain, somehow I will find ways that after I write these things, I can find ways to forget, move on and accept that everything's different now and that those are not my fault but those are God's will.

He's gone for almost 7 months already. Well, he's not yet dead, okay. It's been 7 months since the time that we broke up. I was so stupid that time, I know he got everything but I still feel like something is missing. I was looking for those things that are missing and never did I realize that while I was looking for that missing stuff, I am already losing this precious thing that I already have. Well, yeah, like what were expected we broke up, and the only thing that I cannot accept was that I was the one who asked for the break up.

First few months, I didn't feel that he's already gone, I didn't realize that he's not mine anymore because we still talk, we still chat, we still text and we still see each other. Everything was seems to be the same, not until one day, no text messages anymore, no chats, I cannot even see him anymore, I didn't know what happened. Then I realized, we're both on separate lives already, we broke up already, it was just so happened that we still have communication after the break ups but still the relationship, the commitment was not there anymore.

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