1 of 11

by Judy Zabriskie

• Writing:

• A
• A
• A

Being the proud parent of an 18 year old son, I believe that the press tends to focus always on the negative properties of these most diverse "creatures". My son is not perfect, nor are any of his friends, but they all have unique and valuable qualities which set them apart from the rest. To my knowledge they have all been raised in diverse settings ranging from single parent mothers, single parent fathers, same sex parents, traditional families and yes, a few, in very untraditional settings. Nonetheless they all bring something extremely special to this world.

Speaking for my son, he is typically atypical. He is not a stellar athlete, but we knew this was going to be the case early on. He has a strong desire to be good at what he enjoys and to ignore that which he is uninterested in. He is a gifted actor with quite possibly the worst singing voice known to man (even after 2 years of one on one singing lessons with a voice coach), but his dramatic and comedic performances are far superior to those sometimes seen on TV or in the theater. He is NOT gay, with his life since middle school revolving around the girlfriend of the month. He is a sweet child, caring, and kind. As bad as a relationship gets he will wait until the girl "dumps" him not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings as he himself was dumped his Freshman year in high school and although this was Miss right now, not Miss right, he was crushed and knows the feeling. He is a volunteer with the local Ruriteen club in school and has held office (President X 2) and has been since early high school. Members of this club sponsor an entire family for Christmas and make sure they are well fed, gifted, and feel at least secure during the holiday seasons. They also winterize a home in the area. These homes are usually in terrible repair and in need of new windows, have poor heating systems, etc. The entire time they are doing this winterization project they are conversing with the family and including them as if they were part of the group, never looking down on them as they have less financially than those involved in the project. My son has always been "inclusive", never seeking out friends in high places so to speak but befriending those he thinks he has most with in common. He is truly a generous child. He stays away from high school gossip and is really not a member of any one group but a drop in for all groups, accepted by nearly everyone. He is a universal "player".

At home, well sometimes that is a different story he is sometimes moody, unkempt in his room and bathroom until coerced to CLEAN. He is neglectful of his chores (mowing the lawn and picking up after himself, throwing down his laundry). He is a typical teenage boy. On the flip side, he is kind and caring towards us, his parents. He worries when his dad is on a trip and late coming home or calling. I am afflicted with multiple sclerosis and some days have trouble getting around, so he tries to be helpful and reassuring. When asked, often begrudgingly, he will assume a task which is not normally delegated to him, later apologizing for his reluctance to perform this task. The child actually has a conscience.

He is concerned with the environment and the state of the economy, sometimes very vocal in his opinions, often getting him in trouble with his peers, but outspoken nonetheless. He is a thinker! His grades have been all A's since elementary with the exceptional B in Spanish V.

When choosing a college, he had his pick of any school in the country, most of which were pursuing him, but he chose an in state school which offered him a scholarship and a place in their Honors College instead of an Ivy League school far from home which offered him admission but with no funding. His philosophy you can learn anywhere or you can not learn anywhere. He felt comfortable at this school, it had all the courses which he was looking for, was affordable, close to home (2 hours away), all the while knowing we had been saving for his education since he was a wee one. His thought keep the money and enjoy you for a bit or keep it for me for when I really need it, like buying a house or an engagement ring. For 18 he is very deep.

Of course, he is my child and I think he rocks, but his friends have an equal amount to offer. Some of them are exceptional athletes who on off days, help out at the local nursing home or who read books to elementary school children, all the while keeping their macho persona intact. Some are from such broken homes that each night they don't know where they are going to lay their head, but they manage to stay in the top 10% of their class, keeping a positive attitude and never blaming their parents for their current dilemma.

I think too much is made in the media of the Brittany Spears and Lindsay Lohan type personas and not enough about our ordinary, good natured, typical teenagers. These are the role models which should be put out to children of tomorrow. I wonder why no one finds it necessary to exploit their goodness and values?

Learn more about this author, Judy Zabriskie.

Add your voice
Know something about What no one talks about: How wonderful it is to have teenagers? We want to hear your view. Write now!