Humor: Computers 24 Articles

by Juliana Bond

IT WASN'T ME! IT WAS MY STEAK-HAMMER! Ten Years ago I had a partner who was absolutely obsessed with computers. I was niave back then and thought the internet was only for perverts! I thought that anyone with an interne...read more

by Tony Smith

When my mother went on disability about seven years ago, I decided to give her one of my old computers to help her pass the time. She was 48 then and had a little bit of computer experience from her community college cours...read more

by Joyce Menyasz

Spam Congratulations, you are a winner! By the time you read this, I will have responded to the 187 daily e-mails that I've received for as long as I've had an e-mail account. And all of these e-mails proclaim I am a ...read more

by Deborah Henry-Pollard

I Know a RAM is not a male sheep I have recently bought a laptop and it is amazing how many men on hearing I had purchased a computer loaded only with the operating system have offered to come and upload my software for...read more

by Jay Kitainik

Having recently retired from a long-time computer career, I can now reveal some of the secrets of our profession. Although we are sworn to secrecy and must take an oath holding a picture of Bill Gates in the right hand and...read more

by D Matherly

It's always interesting when I go into work and run into those few people who know absolutely nothing about computers. Like receiving a phone call from someone who cant figure out why there PC won't power on. Or someone...read more

by Howard England

How to Erase Data on an Old Hard Drive We use our computers for everything these days. The typical hard drive has bank statements, home budgets, IRS 1040s, credit card information, stored emails and instant messages, no...read more

by Carol Band

Wii Wish You a Merry Christmas It's 4:30am on a December morning. It is still dark outside and yet I am pulling sweatpants on over my pajamas, zipping up my parka and grabbing a travel mug for my coffee. What rouses me ...read more

by Ashley Slade

It has been a long, hot day. As I sit here, the metal surrounding my delicate wires heats up to immeasurable temperatures. I do not know how I can stand this heat. My name is Seanix. I am one of the latest models of PC's. ...read more

by Mister Ornery

Obviously, I own a computer else I would not be making regular visits to Helium. Truthfully though, saying I "own" a computer is on a par with a pet owner saying, "I own a cat" - and no, cat lovers, I have never heard anyo...read more

by Dan Ortiz

"Ctrl, alt, delete, CTRL, ALT, DELETE, Are you kidding me?" I squealed, as my monitor was being bombarded with promises for a better sex life and million dollar job opportunities. "Um, are you loading? Are you stuck? Spea...read more

by Rose A. Valenta

Christmas 2007 - In Search of a Nintendo Wii It was a dark and stormy night, the most popular beginning lines to a story, but in this case it was actually true. My five-foot frame almost blew across the parking lot when...read more

by Emma Willey

My Computer Desk When I got my first computer, I set it up to hide everything under the desk I possibly could. I wanted to keep everything neat and looking tidy. But after writing several stories and poems, I found m...read more

by John Ambuli

OF VIRUSES, CDS AND DISKETTE IN COMPUTERS IN KENYA Cyber and computers services shops have refused the use of diskettes in their machines. It is said that they spread viruses from one machine to another and this has ...read more

by Dan Long

I am sure you have all seen them. They literally flood the market at every computer software sales outlet in North America, perhaps even the world. I have even seen them in office supply stores of all places. There litt...read more

by Mike Hazelwood

On the first day of Christmas A spammer sent to me An email to get out of debt for a fee On the second day of Christmas A spammer sent to me Two Stock Promotions An email to get of debt for a fee On the third da...read more

by Neil Jones

My friend, Arty, works for an insurance company so he gets to do a lot of home working. He loves his computer and with it he lives a sort of virtual half-life. He met his wife through online dating. He maintains his bank a...read more

by Will Patching

Concussion or my new PC fairy godmother? It wasn't a very big explosion, but it brought my head up with a bang all of its own. I was scrabbling on the floor fumbling to plug in my brand new computer when BOOM! The noi...read more

by Julie Fleming

Oh For the Love of Sneezing My niece told me the Chinese people believe sneezing is a sign that someone is thinking of you. She also commented half-heartedly that lately I must have many people thinking of me. Her stateme...read more

by Nick Zegarac

This article is intended as a tongue-in-cheek rebuttal for anyone who has received more than their share of junk mail in their email inbox. This means you! There's really no escaping it. Whatever your service provider,...read more