NEW OLD GUY

PROLOGUE: (Optional)

Narrator: Sometimes it's easy to smile or maybe even laugh a little at the old as they struggle to deal with the challenges of aging. The next time you find yourself tempted to chuckle, take a deep breath and then try and see them for who they really are.

CURTAIN OPENS

OPENING SCENE:

Old guy (Mort) sitting in a chair center stage. Stage is devoid of props other then a small "Linen table" up stage left and the old guy (Mort) in the chair. He sits silently for a few moments then fidgets, clears his throat and looks around. Slowly he starts to lean to his left. This continues until it seems apparent that he is about to fall out of his chair. An attendant walks quickly on-stage from the right carrying several folded towels. He sees the old man's predicament and walks over to him and straightens him up in the chair. He then goes to the linen table and starts to arrange the linen on it as the old man again starts to lean, only this time to his right. As he is about to fall over the attendant again comes to his rescue and sets him upright. The attendant steps back a pace and watches as the old man again starts to lean to his left. He again straightens him up.

(Attendant watches him for a moment and then, satisfied, turns and leaves stage right).

DIALOG: Two old duffers who are obviously very hard of hearing

Mort: (looking in the direction the attendant just left ) What kind of a place is this anyways? Won't even let ya fart! (Quickly leans over again and then sits back upright as he fans his hand in front of his face) Whew! Can't say as I blame em any though. (He sits silently looking around and fidgeting a bit for a few more moments until the attendant wheels another old duffer (Reynolds) in from stage right and parks him next to Mort. Attendant then exits stage left. Mort and Reynolds start to eye each other suspiciously and this goes on for several moments.

Mort: I don't know you! You must be new. Are you new?

Reynolds: Hell no I ain't Jew. I'm Protestant!

Mort: Gee, that's too bad. I had trouble with my prostate too awhile back. Nothin but pure misery it was.

Reynolds: Missouri? What makes you think I'm from Missouri? Nothin but a bunch of Democrats and mules in Missouri. I oughta know cause I spent a year there one month.

Mort: Hey now. Don't go getting all riled up. We all have our bad days. (Pause) You say you've been in misery

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