Humor: Food

by Kiki Mcdonald

Smoke on the Water My kids have grown up thinking that the smoke alarm is a kitchen timer. Whenever the alarm goes off (pretty much every night), they yell out, "Mom, dinner's ready!" ,on the off chance that I had stabb...read more

by K. Ross

As my wife came out of the grocery store, she was amazed to see an older man standing by her mini-van. What was amazing about it was that our Border Collie, Sam, who would normally never let anyone outside the family ge...read more

by Sarah Flake

Thanks to pregnancy, my body refuses to fall asleep until 3 a.m. When this first started happening a few weeks ago I just lay in bed for 4 to 5 hours cursing and praying alternately for sleep to overcome me. But I've final...read more

by Jade

My eyes scan the menu and I see all sorts of coffee competing with each other. Something catches my eyes, something that makes me think ''mm... what could this be?''. I rushed into this colorful restaurant to escape fro...read more

by Dave Knechel

The Mushroom Incident Ever since I was a little kid, I could spot a hair on my plate. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see it if it was halfway buried under the food. They were usually from cats or dogs, since we al...read more

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by Candy Jules

I love my daughter, and if she were to read this, she would probably dis-own me. She always wanted to cook, but she wanted to do it her way. I was sick for a couple of days, and she wanted to help me out, as well as sur...read more

by Joe Velasquez

My wife is a domestic diva. She hasn't always been a diva, but has grown to become one over the last thirteen years. She spent the better part of the first decade of our marriage attending a wide variety of cooking classes...read more

by Colleen Ely

I'm finally getting the message. It's been two years in the making. At first, I thought it was just bad luck or poor timing. Now, I'm convinced God is speaking to me through the produce. Or, more accurately, testing my sou...read more

by Margaret Shauers

THE CHEF TAKES A BOW I knew I was fated for culinary splendor the day when I was ten and fixed my first batch of hamburgers. I got 18 of the little jewels from a pound, and the fact that my parents weren't impressed wi...read more

by Rick Dickert

Surviving Festive Holiday Preparations It's that time of the year when everybody's looking for their own personal holiday miracle, even if it's only a parking spot at the mall. During the holidays it's normal to fee...read more

by Laurie Miles

The crock pot will be full of something decadent and wonderful. The house will smell amazing. I will drool the minute I walk through the door. Anticipation will be high and stomachs will be growling. Mom is cooking and...read more

by Lauren Parle

CONFESSIONS OF A WHITE SUPREMACIST I could hear the words before she opened her mouth. "You what?" She snarled at me like I had just insulted her mother. "I don't eat chocolate," I replied. Her pursed lips resemble...read more

by Susan Thrower

The Incredible Edible Back in the seventies, I moved in with a married sister and rented a room so I could be closer to work. I worked the afternoon shift and usually got home by eleven thirty. My brother-in-law worked ...read more

by Sarah Torribio

When I first learned there was a kind of lettuce called radicchio, a little more than a decade ago, I was delighted by the word. It struck my non-Italian-speaking ear as sounding like the Italian word for ridiculous. Lo...read more

by Sophie London

My most memorable meal wasn't at a five-star restaurant. It was a bizarre gastronomic experience that I wouldn't believe myself if I read it online. My husband and I were vacationing in Montreal. Being vegetarian, we'd ...read more

by Scott Hannigan

CHEAP LIMES Once upon a time (and here, I'm talking mid-sixties) the good ladies behind the cash register in the supermarket were actually employed for their skill. They were possessed of the most phenomenal memories kn...read more

by Cindy Rodriguez

Vegetarian and Proud of It! I'm coming out of the closet! yes, finally I am. There, I write it for everyone to see and read. I was the queen of denial. I feel liberated from hiding that nasty secret that is right th...read more

by Virgil Teague

LOADING IN AND LOADING OUT You know how it is: after a couple of hours at the store, including the interminable check-out process, you get home with a trunk full of groceries: boxes and cans, cartons, bottles and jugs. ...read more

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by Josie Palmer

I just can't seem to get it right! I find a dish that the family enthuses about (or at least doesn't moan about, which is pretty damn near to enthusiasm at my table) and so make it two or three times again and the complai...read more

by Stephie

Holidays with my family usually mean two things that begin with the letter F. Family, and food. The latter of these two being the most crucial. It doent matter whose home you are going to, if you show up with something tha...read more