August 12, 2000, a day I will never forget. A day I was told I had just a few short months left in this world. Walking out of the hospital that day fear was in my mind, sadness in my heart.

I would miss my children's milestones through life. Proms, graduations weddings and the birth of grandchildren. I would never get the chance to return home to live near my family. I began regretting the phone calls never made to my parents and siblings. Seems there was always a tomorrow to make that call, or send that letter. I was told that day, I was out of tomorrows.

After a brief mental break down, I focused my thoughts and feelings on dealing with life as it was. I planned for the end. I spoke with long lost friends, severed unstable and unreliable relationships, and called my family.

Deciding to return home for the remainder of my days, I packed my children and came north. That was 7 short years ago. I obviously was granted many more tomorrows as well as two more children, two beautiful grandchildren, and many holidays spent with family (about 30 of us if we all show).

I try to show my family how much I care through things I do for them all day. Not the house keeping chores that they just assume are my job, but a "treat" bought for the teen-ager or husband are often more appreciated than the ones expected by a smaller child. A note by the coffee pot, or in a lunch sack. I ignore the dishes for a play by play of their day after dinner. I call the older ones who do not live at home as even the adult children need to know their parents still care (although conversations with my granddaughters are the best part of these calls). When someone comes into my mind I call them, or send them a note just to let them know.

I take my love out with me too. A smile at a small child in the back seat of a car. A wave to the neighbor down the street. I talk to the people at the grocery store, hold open doors or just smile. It is the little things that we do not even realize, that make us happy as well as the people we meet throughout our day.

I live on borrowed time and never forget it. Nor will I ever "put off till tomorrow what I should have done yesterday".

*I sure appreciate it that you read this through the end. Thanks.

Learn more about this author, Shana Baxter.
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