I used to be one of those women who expected to receive a gift of some sort on Valentine's Day. The expectation started to build up right after new years. I can remember my friends and me talking among each other, each building up a higher expectation of what we are going to get on the romantic holiday.

Well, I have been disappointed many times with this kind of thought process. I am not saying that I never received a Valentine's Day gift, but now that I am in a different frame of mind about this holiday, I am much more satisfied with my present opinion.

Back in the time where I had such high expectations of this romantic day, I couldn't wait to see what my current boyfriend or date would show up with. Sometimes it was roses, sometimes candy and a stuffed animal and sometimes it was a romantic, fattening dinner for two. I appreciated and often cherished these gifts and dinners for a day or two, but then it was back to normal.

The let down to this time of year was almost too much to handle, and there were times where I wish Valentine's Day never existed. I say this because after February 14th, there were no more gifts and romantic dinners until either your birthday or the next holiday that is considered a gift-giving one. So, here I am, getting all depressed because it would be a long time before someone made me feel special again, because most men are trained only to give gifts of love on specific days that are spaced very far apart.

Now, I used to say I would rather have a boyfriend or even a date on Valentine's Day than be single. Being single was way worse because there were not going to be any expectation of a gift or dinner. You were alone on the most romantic holiday of the year. How depressing is that? Let me tell you, there were plenty of times that I was single and lonely and yes-depressed because nobody got me anything to make me feel special on that one day. So, what is a woman to do? Declare that she will no longer have any expectations on Valentine's Day-or any other gift giving day for that matter?

I tried to go that route as well, and found that no matter what I expected, I always seemed to be disappointed. It either happened on that day because I was single, or afterwards because I had a boyfriend and things were back to ho-hum within hours of my getting a valentine's gift. I will even let you in on a little secret. Sometimes the gifts were not that special, but I had to pretend that they were because he actually made an effort, right?

My opinion now is far from the past, partly because I got sick of the expectation vs. a gift on valentine's day. The other reason why my opinion has changed is because I finally realized that I would rather celebrate every day with my boyfriend. He has taught me to cherish each day with each other, no matter what the calendar says what day it is.

I have been through a lot of ups and downs with the one I am with now. Sure, we have only made it through four years (not a lot of time to some, but for me, it is the longest relationship I have had since my marriage), but it has been a wonderful four years. I have gotten up from bed only to find a note on the coffee table saying, "I love you so much, can't wait to see you tonight." I have also went out to my car to find that he has cleaned all of the snow off of it and filled the gas tank. Now, if that doesn't show true love, I don't know what does!

Learn more about this author, Catherine Mcnerney.
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