Addicted to Bulimia

I am amazed how addictive some things can be. I have heard it said that some people have an addictive personality. They tend to become addicted to substances and behaviors more easily than others. That was me. I became addicted to bulimia. In fact, I became addicted to almost anything I could get my hands on throughout my life as I would discover throughout my life.

I don't think it ever had anything to do with weight in the beginning. I liked sweets and now I had away of eating all of them I wanted and not having to worry about getting fat. The problem was, I became addicted to eating. I couldn't stop. It seemed all I thought about was food; how much I could get my hands on and into my mouth. And then the next thought was always where the closest bathroom was so I could get rid of it? Try hiding that from your parents for years.

Bulimia was my quick fix to weight management. I could eat anything I wanted and not gain weight. Bulimia was only a symptom of a bigger problem; eating. Food provided comfort, but food was fattening. I didn't want to get fat so I threw up everything I ate.

I was very active in my teen years. I joined sports events in school and ran for school council. I was involved in drama, public speaking, drill team, piano lessons, etc. My father encouraged his children to get involved, so I did, in almost everything I had time for, and didn't have time for.

I think I was a perfectionist and a people pleaser. I wanted people to like me and I needed to do everything right. I had very high expectations of myself. Although weight wasn't a huge issue in Junior High, once I entered into High school it became very clear how important it was to be thin.

I quickly found out that I could get more out of being thin than being overweight. If I was really thin I could get a lot of compliments and praise. Even people staring at me was a confidence boost and increased my self perception. But as soon as any weight crept onto my small frame I would hear whispers from classmates about how I looked. And being bulimic, the weight was on and off all the time.

Sometimes I would get so sick and tired of throwing up I would just quit eating. And because I was constantly running or playing softball the extra weight would fall off me fast. It was like a constant roller coaster ride. Food had become a very bad habit and my worst enemy. I grew to hate food and hated eating more, but I couldn't seem to stop.

I had lost the power of choice over food and it was controlling and ruining my life. It would be like that for a very long time. Until one day when God smiled down on me. He poured out His love and grace upon me and delivered me from the control of food. I was set free and delivered from obsessive overeating once and for all never to bow down to the stronghold over me again.

Food obsession and bulimia starts in the mind. You must change the way you think if you are ever going to stop the insanity. Try different things like listening to music or watching TV. Think about whatever helps you get your mind off of food, and do whatever you need to do to keep from vomiting up everything you eat. Change your thinking, and your actions will follow. It is a process and doesn't always happen overnight. Just don't give up. Practice makes perfect.

Learn more about this author, Lacy Enderson.
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