The Art of the CFV (Cheap Family Vacation)

Rather than boring you with all the steps and tips of how to plan a CFV, take a look at how I roll with my family of five, without taking out a HELOC.

I have been lauded by the woman whose opinion matters most (my wife, not Oprah) as the cheapest man on the planet. I have a few grown-up toys, but have mysteriously survived without a boat, a pickup, or an ATV. I am not an impulse buyer, unless something purchased with between three and six months of thought is considered an impulse.

For this reason, I am the vacation planner. She decides where we would go (since otherwise we would never go anywhere), and it becomes my job to plan it. I do occasionally throw a few ideas her way, but I don't even have veto power once she has made up her mind.

So, after much deliberation, I purchased a family-sized tent, one that could easily be set up in the dark, for just over $75. It came with two extra sleeping bags, a couple of canvas chairs, and some miscellaneous camping stuff. I spent a few hours net-surfing, and e-mailing some old military friends.

The next day we loaded ourselves into the car - me and all the women in my life. Three daughters, 13, 9, and 7, crammed into the family sedan with a full tank of gas. I headed north, with my wife reading the map, mostly so I could drive her bananas when I try to read it and drive at the same time. We made a beeline for central Missouri, where an old friend was expecting us. He didn't have the room to board us, but this was deliberate. We set up the tent in his front yard. My wife got some video of my friend and I trying to set it up while the girls watched. We all laughed until our sides hurt.

After a less than restful night, we headed down an intentional detour to a place called Tightwad, MO. There isn't much of anything there other than a city limit sign, which happens to be chained and welded to the pole to prevent theft. Okay, other than its symbolic value, that's pretty boring. But over the next thirteen days, we forged our way through five more states, finding all sorts of cheap stuff to do.

Here's some of what we saw:
The Bridges of Madison County, IA ($3 for parking)
The Corn Palace in Mitchell, SD (a few dollars for all of us)
Badlands National Park ($20) (It's a huge bunch of rocks that you can climb on)
1880 Town ($26) (a reconstructed old west town, we spent all afternoon there)
Mt. Rushmore ($20)
Panning for gold near

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