Friendships between the sexes are often on uneven ground. Ideally, men and women could remain friends forever and the friendship would never evolve into anything else unless it was agreed upon and it could happen mutually. But friendship is often built upon tension between men and women in the first place, and those friendships in which both parties fail to realize this, and friendships that are often doomed to fail.

The only reason that we are stuck in the "friend zone" is because our real reasons for engaging in the friendship have become obvious to the other person and it makes the friendship difficult and complicated. She knows that you really want her, but that you respect the friendship and do not want to jeopardize that. She knows that you are someone that she likes as a friend, but not necessarily that she wants to get to know on a deeper level or in a romantic way. One person is transparent about the fact that they feel that the friendship is a digression of what they feel are limitations in the relationship, and one person knows that those boundaries are in the friendship for a very clear reason.

Some people will inevitably become attracted to anyone that they are friends with, particularly when they aren't that experienced in relationships and they aren't that secure in themselves or their ability to attract a complete stranger to them. Friendship becomes a shortcut or a means to an end within the relationship. Often that person is unaware of how self-edifying being in the friend zone truly is; when your body language shows that you are lusting for that other person it makes it even more difficult to be your friend than ever.

You can let those feelings go and try to explore the friendship in new ways, or you can take those chances and see where the friendship is headed. But you need to exercise a lot of tact and caution in either, because friendships in where one or the other person are in the friend zone are friendships whose days are often numbered. As a friend, you do have that responsibility to tell your friend what your feelings are, and trying too hard to be a "real friend" will result in your being anything but that.

Often the feelings will come about as a misinterpretation of what happens in the friendship; particularly when we are not accustomed to people being so friendly, or so selfless. We automatically assume that something is there, some opportunity, even when we weren't formerly thinking about it. Our friends are in our ear and would like to see something transpire between the two of them, and are encouraging the friend to pursue the relationship, which is something they may do if they were in that position.

Do not worry about "ruining the friendship" or trying to keep a friend; the bulk of your friendships with people of the opposite sex were not necessarily designed to last until the end of time in the first place. You will have those friendships that are, and will continue to grow and evolve in spite of how you or her have expressed yourself within that friendship, which is a beautiful thing because you now have someone that truly understands you and knows and respects your interpersonal needs. You probably have other similar interests that glue the friendship together, and other things to talk about; but to think that you can be "just friends" with someone, works when you least expect it, and definitely not when you make an concerted attempt at it.

Learn more about this author, Christopher Kendalls.
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