Is it possible to come to terms with a loved one...after their death?

Generally, we think of any relationship as a two way street, requiring both individuals to put forth their effort in resolving an issue. This is a tough situation, considering the person who you are needing to make amends with have passed away. Therefore, coming to terms with the situation appears to be impossible. And therefore, the person left behind can find themselves stuck in a whirlpool of endless emotion, feeling that there is no way out.

But actually there is a way to come to terms with a loved one after their death. And yes, you are alone through this journey. Unfortunately, this person is no longer here, therefore they cannot share their opinions, feelings, or beliefs on the issue. But regardless of this fact, you can still come to terms with the situation.

Let me share briefly, my own personal experience to better explain.....

As a young girl I was molested by a family member. I chose to tell other family members about my experience, which then lead to a family debate on rather or not this is an important issue that needed to be addressed in the first place, let alone treated with counseling. Long story short, nothing was done about any of it; it was shoved under the rug to pretend that it never happened. During this entire time my father was not there, he did not attend our meetings, he never spoke to me in regards to the issue, ask for my point of view, offer support or what have you. Several years passed when suddenly he became involved with the issue by sharing his opinion to others (except me), all the while, taking the side of my offender. This always disturbed me, however, at the time I did not have the strength to stand up to him. He always had a very dominant personality, and during this time I needed understanding more than conflict; so I never confronted him about the issue. I am not sure why he never confronted me, but he never asked me what happened, or given me any opportunity to feel welcome to his support. When my father died, my sisters, brother, and I got a copy of his will. In it was stated that I was cut out of the will. It didn't say why, even though I knew the reason...because it was the only thing that ever came between us. I really can't explain the feelings that I had "knowing" that my father had such negative feelings toward me that he was willing to cut me out of the will. And it had nothing to do with material things because I did receive

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