If you want to get her to stop, simply put the seat either up or down as she asks. I know this is not what men want to here, but it IS the easiest solution in the large picture. Women look at it this way; in the amount of time you use thinking it's no big deal, you could have put it up or down ten times or more. PLUS, the arguing over such a silly thing would stop.

That is, silly in your eyes. It's right up there with the 'throw your dirty clothes in the hamper', which is inches from the shower. Again, it takes less time to score a basket [as if at a game], then it does to deliperately avoid it.

Think about this: is what you are really complaining about these chores? The fact that your wife annoys you, asking these things, or that you don't do as she asks JUST to annoy her -. [more on that later].

I am sure that all men with wives think and/or wonder the same as you, but look at it this way; do what she asks, showing you're an adult and MAYBE she will stop treating you like a child. Ten bucks says you get treated like a child a lot. That by itself would annoy anyone, no matter what gender he/she may be.

After all, when you first married, you were treated like the adult you are. But I'm willing to bet you either didn't have kids, or you acted a bit more respectful to your spouse. The old toilet seat position' thing is just a way to irk her, really. Well if you love her, ask yourself this: WHY is it such a big deal? If she's around kids all day, telling them to pick up after themselves, and they don't, then in her eyes, when she asks a little help from you, and she gets the same reaction YOU become a big child also. At which point, you start being treated as a child. It's a vicious cycle.

What she wants at the end of the day when you come home, is an adult to talk to. An adult that doesn't ACT childish. I'm sure you were that kind of couple at one point. The trouble starts in the years where you feel so comfortable, take her so much for granted that you stop thinking of her in adult terms. Instead, she becomes the wife'. Not MY wife', which implies a personal closeness you wish to protect. Instead she is the person you berate to your buddies; the person who gets called names, like "the old ball and chain", etc.

If you truly think of her that way, you might as well forget it. You will always act like a child, and she will always berate you for this, that, or whatever. It's very sad the way small, petty things wear down the fact that you once had respect for her, and she, you.

As for the toilet seat thing, Whoopi Goldberg hit the nail on the head a few years ago, on The Tonight Show, with Jay Leno. She said Guys, we know you love us, and don't flush at night to not wake us, but when WE get up in the middle of the night, without turning on a light, and the toilet seat is up, we KNOW what we are sitting in.'

Every male in the audience groaned. Every woman said Ewww" and with good reason. It IS gross, and almost all women have been through it at some point. So that's the deal: that's the entire reasoning behind it all. Now you know.

Learn more about this author, Lisa Beach.
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