I think stepparents should have limited parental rights. When a person marries someone who has children of a prior relationship, they need to realize they are marrying into a family, not just marrying someone they love. As a natural mother who has remarried, I can see how it would benefit our family greatly if my husband has some legal parental rights to my children from my prior marriage.

My children's natural father is living on the East coast, we live on the West coast. He's grateful to my husband for providing so well for his children, in more ways than monetary. Besides making sure the kids have enough to eat, good clothes, and amazing birthday gifts, my husband has attended soccer practices and games, cheer leading competitions, school plays, and parent-teacher conferences. He's helped with math homework, boy trouble, Boy Scout projects, and hospitalizations. It would be a huge help if he could have some legal rights without having to adopt my children. He doesn't want to adopt them, frankly. He tells me, "They have a dad. I'm just here for them if they need me since he can't be."

At first I was hurt by his attitude. I thought he didn't want to claim them as his children - step or otherwise. He has since proved me incorrect more than once. When he meets up with old friends and they ask how many kids he has now, he proudly states five (he has a son who lives primarily with his mom, I have two from a prior marriage, and we have two children together). Only if the friend inquires further does my husband clarify the relationship. As far as he's concerned, he is their dad until their natural father gets his act together and can start being more of a dad instead of a weekend play date.

The next obvious question for me is this: What parental rights should be vested in a stepparent when adoption is not a good option?

The stepparent should be allowed to have the right to seek medical attention; the right to the obligation to care for, direct and supervise the child; the obligation to see that the child attends school; and the obligation to protect the child and provide a safe living environment for the child.

I don't believe a stepparent should have the right to inherit property for the child, the right to consent to the marriage of the child or enlistment in military service, the ability to contract on behalf of the child, the obligation to provide financial support for the child, or the responsibility to provide a legal defense of the child

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