THE POOL CLUB

I am involved with a bizarre social club, not by intent. We meet nightly beside the swimming pool at my apartment complex.

My 12-year-old son, Jeff, and I, walk to the pool each night around 8:30. He is always anxious to swim and I am ready to stare at the moon. So it begins-Jeff dives in while I sit in the white lounge chair and look up.

Within 10 minutes, the 50-something guy from 3B saunters down with his wife. They sit on the side of the pool opposite me. They are always dressed in matching khaki pants, long sleeve polo shirts and black loafers with no socks. Typically they mumble something to each other and then look over at me to nod a greeting. I nod back before I resume sky gazing.

About ten minutes after 3B arrives, a pretty blonde woman named Lee Ann comes down from 5C, with her two young children. At this point I usually ignore the stars-instead I become gawky and goggle-eyed. Her six-year-old girl runs and circles the pool, crying out, "Mommy! Watch this Mommy!" while her boy of eight picks different locations to quietly dive in. My patient son has become his favorite obstacle course.

I often attempt to start a conversation with Lee Ann. It begins with small talk and usually goes nowhere. She makes me nervous, which drops my intelligence level in half. Our awkward talks are brief.

Soon after my self-induced torture gets underway with Lee Anne, the rest of the group arrives. The fit and buff amber haired woman from 7A has just completed her nightly fast walk of 10 laps around the buildings. She enters the gated pool area, dripping with sweat and then walks to the shallow end. She removes her shoe, takes a seat at the edge of the pool and sticks her feet in. She never talks, never looks up from the water. She is a cutie, that's for sure, but somehow reminds me of a Showtime movie character. Kinda scary.

At about the same time, Loud Larry arrives with his equally boisterous roommate Bob. They swagger through the gate, each wearing tight Speedos, which highlight their abundance of belly. They jump in the pool and the ambiance instantly changes to a series of "Woo hoo!" and loud ramblings of how their day at the shop went.

Flo usually arrives a few minutes after Loud Larry and Bob. When she opens the gate to enter, Lee Anne, Loud Larry, Bob and sometimes the sweaty lady from 7A will pause to look up at this 80-something woman that always carries a big red plastic cup, filled with iced tea.

I glance at my son

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