Channel Button

There are 10 articles on this title. You are reading the article ranked and rated #7 by Helium's members.

Computers & Technology   >

Computers & Technology (Other)

Computer humor

Ah the computer. Without them today who knows where we would be. We rely on them for everything. They are found everywhere: in our car, our cellular phones, on our laps and desktops, even the self checkout at the local grocery story is a computer. But how frustrating they can be when they goof up, lose our money, read a coupon wrong, or crash in the middle of our thesis. I can remember once reading a sign somewhere that stated "To err is human but to really screw up requires a computer" (Farmer's Almanac, 1978). Oh how true it is. So here's to computers everywhere and all of us who have had at least one run in with the untamed beast!

The computing field is always in need of new clichs. -Alan Perlis

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. -Andy Rooney (1919 - )

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. -Bill Gates (1955 - )

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee - that will do them in. -Bradley's Bromide

Why is it drug addicts and computer aficionados are both called users? -Clifford Stoll

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. -Doug Larson

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. -E. W. Dijkstra

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. -Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. -James Magary

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. -Jef Raskin

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a little. -Joe Martin

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear. -John C. Dvorak

Learn more about this author, Dawn Taylor.
Contact this writer Click here to send author comments or questions.


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Computer humor

  • 1 of 10

    by Jared Hume

    I was young and just starting out. I was attending college, and was highly into computers, and decided to get myself ... read more

  • 2 of 10

    by Jeff Tompkins

    Sometimes people ask me to help them with their computers. (These are almost always people I know; rarely do stranger... read more

  • 3 of 10

    by Carrie Heath

    I just discovered something truly terrible - I have been so busy charging up all my electronics that I can't find my ... read more

  • 4 of 10

    by Ethel Ashe-Frear

    Computer Problems! I posted my most recent article with a chart in the story. It looked good in my Microsoft doc... read more

  • 5 of 10

    by Craig Berkeley

    Upgrading to Wife 2.3 after Reinstalling Wife 2.2. Upgrading from Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 2.0 when installing Marriag... read more

View All Articles on:
Computer humor

Add your voice

Know something about Computer humor?
We want to hear your view. Write_penWrite now!

Debate Icon

Cast your vote!

Does technology impoverish the mind?

Click for your side. Must be logged in.

162719

Featured Partner

The Center for Responsive Politics (Open Secrets)

The Center for Responsive Politics (CRP) is the nation's premier research group tracking money in US politics and its...more

What is Helium? | User Guide | Community | Link to Helium | Privacy | User Agreement | DMCA

Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA