by Gary Maclean

Created on: April 14, 2008

UNDERSTANDING THE MALE MIND

I'm a man! That's my story and I'm sticking to it. That gender ridden claim has gotten me out of a lot of tight spots. I can't help it, I'm just a man. We think totally differently than a woman; sometimes we don't think. There are some things a woman could keep in the back of her mind if she really wants to understand her man. Some of them are;

10) WE SERIOUSLY ENJOY SEX: All the stories you've heard are true. Yes, we do enjoy sex. We think it, we dream it, and we fantasize it. Since our 12 or 13th birthday we have been totally pre-occupied with it. We can't help it. It isn't something we work at; it's something our body demands. We sometimes try to control the urges but they spring right back up. Any, literally any suggestion, no matter how small, you might come up with for sex of any kind will have us in a puddle at your feet. We absolutely crave see but when it is delivered, willingly by our woman, we are totally helpless.

9) OUR MIND IS SIMPLE: Most of us don't cloud our minds up with much other than food and sex. Sometimes a good video game will take up a good size spot but usually it's the food sex thing. I've already spoken to the sex thing. Food is important as well. We aren't concerned about good food necessarily; mostly it's just food. Please don't get too fancy either. Salt, pepper, onion, garlic; anything more is a waste. In fact, anything else and you are taking a chance on spoiling an otherwise perfectly good dish of whatever it is you are making. Meat and gravy and you have us back at your feet in a puddle again.

8) CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES: This one holds a position of prominence. We can't just bunch chocolate chip cookies in with food. Chocolate chip cookies are their own food group. Make them anyway you want; with nuts, raisins, plain, a little bit of oatmeal, out of a mix, out of a bucket, from a tube, it doesn't matter. Just don't try to pass off the already baked ones that come in the bags; those are good in a pinch but that's it.

7) MAKE YOU HAPPY: We seriously only want to make you happy. We don't care about what color anything is, or what style it is we just want you to be happy. One of anything looks the same to us as the next one does. We work hard at trying to determine which one you really do like best so we can choose that one. We know that if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! We want to make sure Mama is happy.

6) DO THE RIGHT THING: I know we screw up. I know we can be idiots. We don't want to be like that

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