My twelve - year old daughter would like to stay at home by herself. If I say yes, I give her permission to be alone at home between the time she arrives and the time my mother can arrive, or I can once I go to work. If I say no, a public bus will drop her off at a YMCA Childcare Enrichment Program site, at her nine - year old sister's school. Currently, I pick her up from school, as there is no transportation through it. There is a great deal of information up for consideration before I make my decision.

One, is her maturity level strong enough to resist impulsive ideas that could lead to trouble and danger? Will she accept the snacks available to her, and not try to cook something she might want more? Will she stay in the house, or at least within a reasonable distance we agree is safe?

I have reassurances and fears for this point. I gave her several chances to show her strengths while alone. These took place while I hurried to the store to buy a few dinner items and to pick her sister up from the school. Before leaving, I reviewed the rules with her and reminded her of my cell phone number. My final step included a reminder of who she could call or go to if an emergency, or any problem, occurred.

My fears stem from how she handles problems while I am at home. At times, she uses a calm, logical thinking style to resolve issues. Other times, she gets mad or sad and blows it off in a physical, striking manner. She has hurt her sister, destroyed household items and threatened to do other things. During these times of crises, I sought help for her and we work with a team of therapists now.

I have no idea how she will react in every situation. When I discuss this issue with her, I detect both good and bad. Her answers flip between logical and childlike. Until I am satisfied, on a consistent basis, with her likely reactions to issues, I feel the program at her sister's school is best. Of course, she dislikes this and feels a middle-school student has no place at an elementary school. I, however, know a hospital, police station and a morgue are no place for a child either.

Two, children need to be around other children to develop and maintain strong social skills. If she is on her own, I fear she will lose, at least part, of her ability to communicate and share with others. Part of sharing is knowing when not to disclose information. This includes her medical and psychological background.

In addition, I want to see her happy and having fun. How

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