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Distribution of household chores is probably one of the biggest bones of contention between a husband and wife in any marriage. Modern times, being what they are, with both partners working outside the home, man is no longer the sole bread winner. However, instead of alleviating some of the burdens from the woman; she takes an overload if the husband does not pull his weight in the marriage.

When the running of the home is shared, there is an understood implication that a couple are committed to one another, are thoughtful and considerate towards their role in the marriage, and are determined in making the marriage successful. The marriage is successful because both have recognized the importance of doing it together. The sharing of housework becomes a re-affirmation of their love for one another. When a spouse is respected in that way, love can not help but be fostered in an enduring relationship.

When housework becomes the burden of one partner, he/she feels taken advantage of, used, taken for granted, and eventually unloved. Since there is no sense of fair play, eventually any loving feelings toward a spouse will give way to frustration and then resentment. Sometimes, this becomes a factor for dissatisfaction and dissolution of a marriage.

The division of housework unspoken one or formally assigned. The best way to approach this is to list all chores needed to be done and who prefers to do one or the other. Usually, the spouse who minds the least will be assigned that chore. The point being, sharing household chores should basically balance fifty-fifty, sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on circumstances.

With our marriage, we have come to a happy medium as far as the sharing of chores. I have always hated to make the bed, but have maturely come to a fair consensus. Whomever is the last to get out of bed is the one to make the bed. Since my husband can not and does not want to cook, I make the three meals a day, and he gets to clean up the mess. I would have to admit, my husband is a pretty good pot-scrubber.

While my husband loves to putter in the garden and do the landscaping; I let him do all that back-breaking work. I am happy just to watch him outside, playing in the dirt, as I call it. He is in his element when he is working outside, and I always kid him about the man, "outstanding" in his field, hoe and pitchfork, held proudly in his hands. As he plants, grows and waters a summer garden of vegetables; in the fall, I will pick, harvest, cook and store everything he has brought to fruition.

When we travel, my husband will take the highway miles, keeping up or down with the speed limit while I would rather drive with my foot towards the brake, which is pretty well the speed driving around town. As I vacuum and wash the floors, he will be out chopping wood, and keeping the wood stove stacked with wood for the day.

Laundry used to be a communal affair, whomever had the time to do it. These days, it is mostly my task. I have chosen it to be so. Some women have not been as lucky as I am. Their husbands would rather veg out than to help with any household task. Not sharing the load is a keg of dynamite ready to explode. I know, I was there in my first marriage. This sharing of the housework becomes a mission statement for what the marriage is between loving people which says "We are in this marriage together. When we share housework, we are expressing our love for one another. We do this because our marriage is important to us."

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