Hey, Smokers! I Don't Care If You Burn!

The too few polite smokers out there in the choking world of tobacco addiction often ask, "Do you mind if I smoke?" The clich joke answer is, of course, "I don't give a rodent's gluteus maximus if you burn." My rant today is that most smokers think we who hate their habit have some sort of caring attitude about them. Wrong. We really don't mind that they're killing themselves. We just don't want to be around them sharing the stink, coughs and smoke while they're doing it.

Everyone knows, except tobacco company spokesflaks, that the second-hand smoking controversy is over, if there ever really was any. Reliable medical studies prove that breathing the evil weed is just about as fatal as sucking on it. So, why should I, restaurant patrons, the addict's family, co-workers and everyone else unfortunate enough to be close to them night and day, unwillingly share the smoker's obvious death wish?

So, smokers, try to get this through your befogged brains. I don't have an agenda, a moral lesson or a religious tract for you. I really don't care how you kill yourselves. I'd prefer you do it alone without deliberately hurting other people. Try a gun, rope, knife or poison. Or go play on the highway during drive time. If you have to indulge in your fatal addiction, just do it far away from me.

Learn more about this author, Ted Sherman.
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