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There comes a time for all of us when our life here on earth is over. It can be a sad and emotional time for our families and friends. Nobody is ever prepared for the end even when we've been told that it is going to happen soon.

At age 64, I know as we approach those senior years, we give a lot more thought as to what our wishes are when that time arrives. I don't know a single one of my peers that has a wish to be kept alive, while suffering severe pain, with the aid of life support. This seems to be a consistency in older people and understandably so. When all avenues of recovery have been exhausted and the patient is existing only because of a machine, what exactly do we, as family, think is going to happen to change the situation?

Now comes that phrase, I dislike intensely. The patient's quality of life now becomes an issue, especially with medical personnel. Doctors use this frequently when discussing terminal patients. I've always disliked the idea that some stranger should judge either my own, or a loved one's, quality of life. However, I feel very strongly, that I should have the right to make that judgement for myself. That I should have the right to say...no, I don't want to live this way.

Knowing how we want things to be and having them be that way, are two different things. How do we make sure that our wishes are carried out the way we want? By making our wishes known, we also relieve our loved ones from the stress of making these decisions for us. So many times those that love us are so wrapped up in their grief, that it becomes impossible to make the necessary decisions, that would result in the end of a life.

Emotionally, I can relate to that. When my mother was dying, she had been a victim of Alzheimer's for more than 16 years. Still, I didn't want her to leave me, even though, in actuality, she had left me years before. I knew the sad truth, it was all about me. I didn't want her to go. I wanted to still be able to see her. It was selfish, but it was understandable.

Now, fortunately, we can make living wills, at little or no expense, and have in writing exactly what our wishes are. Then every one knows in detail what is and isn't acceptable to us. As long as you are of sound will at the time you make your living will, or a health care proxy, for that matter, it is legal and binding.

Loved ones and family members should have no authority to over-ride your wishes, not because they don't really care about you, but rather, because they care too much to be objective.

Learn more about this author, G. Schettino.
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