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I joined the Army twice.

Occasionally I will dream that I've enlisted for the third time. Sometimes those dreams are exhilarating . . . I'm running with ease and performing effortless pushups . . . But other times I'm distracted and worried in those dreams, because a lot has changed since my Army days. I'm the mother of a son, not yet grown. And I'm a registered nurse-far removed from the duties I had as an enlisted soldier.

Twenty-six years ago (seems like a few minutes ago) I was bivouacking in the snow, on a night much like this, as I completed basic training at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. I was 20 years old, and thought that I was a grown up, but I wasn't. Actually, I had no idea what to expect from that first tour in the Army. I certainly wasn't prepared for the physical demands in any way, shape, or form. It's a tribute to my drill sergeants that I gained the strength and endurance necessary to complete the physical training test required to graduate from "basic."

A small-town girl, the Army life opened up the world to me. I was a member of that Reagan-era, cold war military. Vietnam was over and forgotten, though the veteran soldiers were still on active duty and they war their combat patches with quiet dignity. The hostages were released from Iran when I was at my second Army post. The "Middle East crisis" was resolved (as far as we could tell back then). As soldiers, our concern was the possibility of a nuclear war with Russia. But the possibility of war was not a distraction. We felt that we were serving our country, and while we were at it, we were going to have a good time!

My second enlistment was after a year and a half break in which civilian life seemed foreign and lazy to me. I was more dedicated and professional during the 4 years of that second go round . . . But when a baby was on the way I re-examined my priorities and became a stay-at-home mom. Still, I never got too far away from the Army; my spouse was a career soldier, and we lived close to a base long after he retired.

For some of us in this world, there is a mystique about being a soldier. The camaraderie of the lifestyle is a definite asset. I still hear from my Army buddies several times a month. Today, I received email from two of them. My dad looks back after 63 years and remembers his Navy buddies with such pleasure . . .

Soldiers these days have a different experience by far. It's nearly certain that they'll be placed in harm's way, but they still volunteer. It is wrenching for me to see our young people being slaughtered and maimed. While I look back on my military experience with something like fond regret, volunteering for military service is a decision that requires a lot more thought now than it did 26 years ago. I have a lot of admiration, but grave concern, for our soldiers in the combat zone today.

Best regards to all of our soldiers-past, present, and future.

Learn more about this author, Carolyn Cooper.
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