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1. Find a patron who is looking at or carrying around a book and hover over them, occasionally asking them if they have yet decided whether or not to check it out. If they set the book down on a table, sneak up and try to snatch it. If they stop you, apologize and tell them you thought they were all done with it.
2. Speak to other people in the loudest whisper you can muster. If anyone asks you to quiet down, argue with them in your loud whispery voice.

3. Pick out a library-goer and follow closely behind them wherever they go. If they turn to see what you're doing, quickly look the other way and pretend to be doing something else. Feel free to hum your own spy theme music. Be prepared for the police to be called on you for this one.
4. If you see a patron reaching for a particular book, rush in front of them and grab it. Tell them you're willing to part with it, but only for a price. Try to trade for other books they may be carrying with them.
5. Sit down in a crowded area with a horror book. Occasionally shout at the top of your lungs, "Oh, my God!" and then immediately resume quietly reading.
6. Start to audibly read a whole book from start to finish in a normal speaking voice.
7. Go around offering unsolicited reviews of books to people. Try to phrase your entire spiel like a professional critical review.
8. Sneak around the library pulling books off the shelves as if you expect it to trigger some secret door.
9. Try to check out an entire volume of encyclopedias at once, all the while loudly insisting that it should only count as a single book. If anyone argues, ask them accusingly if they count the Bible as two books towards the check-out limit.
10. Sit down with a book and silently read it with a confused look on your face. Every few seconds, put the book down and politely ask the people around you for the definition of some common word like "chase" or "bathe."

Learn more about this author, Logan Anderson.
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