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Every head turns as the attractive woman enters the cafe. Conversation stops and the silence and stares cause the woman to also turn her head in the direction everyone is looking in. As her face begins to flush she realizes that all those people were looking at her. There is no one behind her!

Yes, as beautiful, as well dressed and confident as she had been the woman suddenly feels quite embarrassed. Her confidence is a little shaken and she feels insecure. In fact she can't quite make herself enter the room especially since she is alone today.

People who are poised and possess what the rest of us consider all the bells and whistles can also feel insecure. There are many speakers that feel quite insecure before speaking to a large crowd. It happens to many well trained individuals that certain audiences make them feel insecure somehow.

Teens and children often feel a great deal of insecurity when they need or want to talk about a subject that they know is not favorable with their parents or peers.

Many a young adult has suffered from insecurity when they preparing for a date. With a new relationship comes new fears and self doubts. Male and female alike feel the sting of the second guessing that goes on in their minds as they try to pretend they are comfortable. Confidence melts as one or the other makes some innocent mistake with the spoken word or a nervous look.

Being less than attractive is very hard on self esteem and confidence. The upside for the not so beautiful is a lot of men and women are far more focused on intellectual pursuits than being a sex symbol. Success is very sexy later in life, so things equal out as people mature.

Being insecure for a brief time is a normal human condition. When insecurity is a prison and one cannot escape no matter how hard they try it is time to get professional help.

I think it is fair to say that being insecure can be an enlightening experience that we can learn from. Just like the attractive woman that got so embarrassed in the cafe there are actions and reactions to everything. I feel sure she learned something about herself and the impression she made on others.

This happened to me once when I was tan, thin, blond and young. I almost felt naked. It was quite a feeling of being vulnerable and knowing there was nothing wrong with the way I looked. But the feelings, the sudden insecurity was as real for me, for her, as it would be if you had to get out of your home and walk the sidewalks naked!

Insecurity is not just about appearance. Mental and emotional insecurities are common. There are people who feel insecure when others acknowledge them in any way. People are insecure in making decisions, haven't we all been in that situation.

I know that there are days I would swear I am the most confident person in the world. The very next day I may be a basket case because of some stupid insecurity creeping into my mind that is hard to shake. We just have to accept life is imperfect at it's best. Insecure feeling will happen to everyone at some time or another.

Learn more about this author, S. Linda Jensen.
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