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Reflections on beauty: 'Beauty is but in the eyes of the beholder'

I have a much broader appreciation of what defines beauty now than I ever did when I was even 10 years younger. What is it that makes this possible? I think life experience is as large of a contributor as anything else. I find that my perceptions of what is beautiful change much more quickly now than when I was a teenager. I am simply more open to the concept than I was at that time.

For example: when I was a teenager, I was looking for my perfect woman. Of course, she didn't exist, but I didn't believe that. I didn't even know what she would look like. I had some ideas about what I admired in women at that time, but it was an unfortunately limited list. It had much more to do with appearance than with inner beauty. Now, I find that to be a sad fact.

I missed out on some really special relationships because I had no idea of what was staring me in the face. This unfortunate trend continued into young adulthood. Fortunately, I did begin to realize that my eyes were not the best judges of beauty in a person, but they still betrayed me more often than not when push came to shove. I invariably made the wrong choices when I actually had the opportunity to choose between spending some quality time with one woman versus another.

This trend finally did come to an end when I got to know the woman I eventually married. We knew each other for at least a year before I even ventured to ask her out on a date. The first time I saw her, I was being introduced to all of my fellow employees at a new job. When I met her, I thought she looked okay, but since she hardly gave me the time of day, I didn't give her much thought either. By that time in my life, I had put together the fact that if a person was nice, it made them more beautiful to me.

I do not intend to dwell on the story of my wife, as it is not the subject of this particular article. Suffice it to say that the longer I knew this woman, the more I realized that she was the definition of beauty that I had been seeking for the better part of my life up to that time.

Now, the key to this story is that my definition of beauty continues to develop as time goes by. My wife of nearly 20 years is still beautiful in my eyes. I believe she will always be the root of any definition of beauty that I will ever have. The other critical piece to this puzzle is that since my relationship began with her, my interest in other beautiful women has been much more clinical, as there is no desire to pursue them as a result of my observations.

I feel it is human to notice beauty in people. As long as one is not rude about it, it is a harmless observation. The point I am working toward is this: when I was young, my perception of beauty was very narrow and almost exclusively limited to physical appearance. With maturity, I now tend to judge less quickly, try to see what it is about a woman that makes her special and then decide what I think is beautiful about her. It does not matter to me if a woman is large, small or somewhere in the middle. If she shows that she cares about herself, is friendly, and shows at least a little bit of self-assurance about her appearance, I can see beauty in her.

I continue to enjoy meeting new people and having playful conversations with them if they are playful themselves. I am not interested in developing relationships other than those that can take place in a short, enjoyable conversation. My hobby continues to be finding beauty in people that may be missed by those people that continue to define beauty in the same way I did as a young man. I hope others are as lucky as I am in opening their eyes and minds to the possibilities that exist if one really takes the time to look.

Learn more about this author, Dave Kemp.
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Reflections on beauty: 'Beauty is but in the eyes of the beholder'

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