Victim Thinking Checklist

Our thoughts control our actions. They control the way we see the world, and how we respond to all of the diverse opportunities that life itself presents to us. By learning to control our thoughts, in essence, we learn to better control our lives and experiences.

There are basically only 2 types of thinkers. Victim thinkers are those who believe that things will never improve. Characteristically, victim thinkers think poorly of themselves. They dwell on past mistakes, focus on problems in their lives, and tend to fear failure to such an extent that they never attempt real change.

Survivor thinkers are exactly the opposite of victim thinkers. They are forgiving of themselves, and accept their mistakes as learning experiences. They are optimistic about the future. They accept their own humanity, and give themselves permission to fail, as well as to succeed.

Anyone can learn to think like a survivor. For those who have been in the habit of victim thinking, the process takes some work. Those who change their thinking are on their way to changing their lives as well. It only takes about 30 days of committed effort to change your own thought process. In order to break an old habit, in theory, you must replace it with a new one.

As a Trauma and Loss Specialist I have spent 8 years working with victims. Part of the healing process is learning to change the thought patterns they have developed over the course of their lives. Below you will find some useful ideas for making the change from victim thinking, to survivor thinking.

Step 1. ERASE AND REPLACE
Make a conscience effort to monitor your own thoughts and speech patterns. Whenever you hear yourself saying something negative, stop. Erase that thought. Replace it with another.

Erase thoughts like "I'm so stupid."
Replace with thoughts like "I have made mistakes, and I have learned from those experiences." and "I am only human. Everyone makes mistakes." or "I don't have to be perfect. I can accept myself as I am."

Erase thoughts like "I'll never get better."
Replace with thoughts like "Everyone can change." and "I am making a conscience effort to get better."

Erase thoughts like "Why bother?" and "There's no use"
Replace with thoughts like "I am worth the effort." "I deserve this chance."

Step 2. Select at least 3 of the following positive statements that you can honestly say are true of you.

I am learning and growing as a person.
Things are not perfect,

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