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Competition can certainly be helpful to children, but competition can also be harmful if the drive for said competition is directed from parent to child, in conflict with the child's inherent personality.

Competition is merely one of a long list of values and qualities that a parent should strive to teach his child. The quest for excellence, or one's personal best, should never be denied or downplayed. What does the goal of distinction teach a child? That he is capable of reaching his dreams, that he is capable of fulfilling his destiny. Frequently these goals are attainable through competition. Competition is not a bad word at all - many modern parents seem to believe that when a child competes, the so-called "loser" will suffer irreparable emotional damage. This is simply not true, in fact, the opposite can often occur.

In recent decades, child-raising has been all about the child's self-esteem. However, there are healthy ways to ensure that a child develops this properly, and there are certain downfalls as well. There is a middle ground, a safe and effective area, which can help parents raise a child to the betterment of that child, as opposed to raising a whiny, entitled brat.

Children have three main areas of competition: the classroom, the sports field, and the home. Let's examine each of these in turn and see what can be learned.

Classroom competition does not have to mean that your child becomes a know-it-all, blurting out answers, being smug and self-righteous. Too many children today are taught to do this or, conversely, to downplay their efforts to avoid the stigma of being educated. The "middle ground" in this instance means that a child should compete against himself, always striving for a better performance, a better grade. Praise for these efforts should be sincere and applicable - applicable to the child's level of labor in his achievement. A parent should not continuously praise for little or no effort, but recognize the work and push for greater accomplishment, while speaking to the child's own ability. Not all children are Einsteins, but many are more capable than parents and even teachers realize.

Sports can be a sore subject to many parents; many remember their own "glory days" on their respective fields and many do indeed push their children far more than the child is capable of or comfortable with. It bears repeating: competition can be harmful if the child is not self-directed to achieve in a particular

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