You know things are going badly at Christmas when....

You and hubby have sat up all night to put together an expensive train set for junior and find that you have one piece of track missing....

One of the kids calls you into the kitchen 10 minutes before serving the dinner, to inform you they can see the cat's tail hanging out of the turkey...

Somebody forgot to drink the sherry and eat the cookies left for Santa and his reindeer on Christmas eve...

Your daughter's new boyfriend informs you he is a diabetic vegetarian...

Your homosexual son decides today is the day that he is going to come out of the closet.

You get up at 3.00 in the morning to prepare, baste and put the turkey on slow roast, then return to bed only to realize in the morning that you had forgotten to turn the oven on...

Send the kids into Granny's bedroom to shout "Merry Christmas", only to discover she isn't there... you had forgotten to pick her up the previous evening,

Your husband unwraps his watch on Christmas morning and you discover that you got his gift mixed up with dear old Uncle Ted's present... who is probably unwrapping his Tag Heuer as we speak now.

When people start arranging where they will be spending NEXT Christmas whilst eating their Christmas dinner.

When the eldest calmly informs everybody that he has just let the tarantula out of its tank for a run about and he can't locate it at the moment... but tells everyone not to worry as it is harmless.

One of the kids wakes you up at five in the morning to inform you that they can't "wake" Grandad. You go into his room to find that you can't wake him either...

Christmas is a time for appreciation. It is a time when you gather together as a family and forget your past differences. It is a time for forgiveness and reunion. It is a time for carefully planned preparations to go off like clockwork, and when things go wrong you naturally think it is the end of the world.

Keeping things in perspective is so important at this time of the year. After all it is only one day isn't it? There are plenty more chances to get things right for the rest of the year and there will be different Christmases to look forward to.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go. It is Christmas day and the cops have just rung me to tell me that I have just had four of my major credit cards cloned. Ho Ho Ho.

Learn more about this author, Jane Allyson.
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