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I'm a guy and I am a husband but I have been a boy friend. That makes me qualified to explain to all women what it is guys would like to have for their birthday. You want to get your boy friend a nice birthday present? Then stick with me;

First let's cover a few no-no's. These will be all the normal, run of the mill, advertised doo dads and gadgets that boy friends always end up with.

5) NECKTIE: Come on. Even if your boy friend wears a tie he doesn't want his girl friend getting him one. Once he unwraps it the birthday is over. There is nothing left to do. What's he going to do, model his brand new neck tie. Forget it, we don't want a tie.

4) TRENDY: Oh pullease! If your boyfriend is wearing trendy things or if he ties his sweater around his shoulders or salmon is one of his favorite colors maybe he has a boyfriend of his own, OK? Nothing from the Gap, Old Navy, or any of those stores. I'm talking guy here, you know, Tractor Supply, Home Depot, Sears - maybe!

3) SUNGLASSES: OK, I'll give you this one. The right pair of sunglasses could be a pretty nice gift. If he has just lost his or they broke that is. Anybody can almost always use sunglasses it's just that they are so impersonal yet specific to the person wearing them. I think you should play it safe and stay away from the sunglasses.

2) WATCH: What time is it? It's goofy time. We don't want a watch. We might wear one but usually its one of those $20 specials from the big box store. Maybe if you gave him a really cool train pocket watch. Still, any sort of time piece is too run of the mill. This is your boy friend, you want to make an impression.

And the number one thing NOT to buy your boy friend for his birthday.

1) COLOGNE: What's the matter does he stink? You don't think we know when to buy and use Cologne? How much thought went into that one. Don't give him anything that smells better than you.

OK, now some of the stuff you could think of giving your boy friend.

5) PELLET PISTOL: A pellet pistol will make a boy feel like a man. Don't get him the real thing, that's too dangerous. But with a pellet pistol he can still drive out into the country and shoot at things that move. Get him a holster to go with it and you've made a cowboy out of your "Trendy" boy friend.

4) NIGHTIE FOR YOU: A really alluring one; something flaming hot. Wear your coat all buttoned up and slowly open it up to reveal the playboy special. If he isn't interested you might want to reconsider your choice.

3) HOME COOKED MEAL: There is some truth to the old wives tale that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Most of us like to eat. Going out is really cool but to think a woman, any woman, would think enough to make a meal exclusively for us, is a real eye opener. Find out what he likes and go for it.

2) SEX HIS WAY: I know it is supposed to be "boy friend" but I think most boy friend / girl friend relationships today are some place in the sexual exploration arena. If so, then you can always make him smile with this one. Of course we like the foreplay and teasing and working our way up to the climax but to be able to just go right for the parts and get to work is a huge turn on. We know you don't like it so we try our best to restrain ourselves. If you were to just give us permission -

And the number one unfailing gift for a boy friend;

1) CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES: What guy does not like chocolate chip cookies. Make them big and make them moist. Make a lot and set the platter right in his lap. Buy a bucket of cookie mix even. They do not have to be scratch cookies, just make some. You can not lose with this one.

Guys are simple. We just want you to be happy. So whatever makes you happy will please us. We just hope one of the above five things will make you happy.

Learn more about this author, Gary Maclean.
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