by Jane Allyson

Created on: April 11, 2008

I think that a child shouldn't be made to feel responsible for their elderly parent. Although I would hope that one of my children may offer to look after me in my old age I certainly would not want them to feel that they have been "saddled" with the responsibility of looking after an aged parent when they are often quite aged themselves in a lot of cases.

I feel that it is the responsibility of the parent to make sure that they never put their child in the difficult position of having to look after them. No matter how willing your child may be in having you live at home with them, the reality of the situation is much different to what they may have imagined.

Traditionally it was the normal thing for the grandparents to move in with their children and many cultures around the world still do this.There are many benefits for the younger children when this happens. For example it may enable the parent to go back to work if she can safely leave her children with the grandparent to look after. Valuable knowledge can be passed down to grandchildren by the older generation who have the time to sit and talk to their young kin.

Grandparents can also be a font of knowledge and can still play a valuable part in bringing the family up, especially in this day and age where every little help counts. But what happens when grandparents get to the really aged stage? My own grandmother is 101 years old and my parents look after her with great care and attention. They have a great deal of respect for her and what she has done for the family and wouldn't see her go into a "home".

Of course this is the only contention for children being lifted of the responsibility of caring for their elders. People distrust the care system and cannot bear the thought of sending their elderly parents into a life of misery and pain. Although many care homes are quite reputable, people have a negative attitude towards them because of the occasional story that you hear about sub standard care for the elderly.

On the whole, it is down to individual choice and if people are not in a position to help their parents then they should not be made to feel guilty or to feel that they have let their parents down in the long run. Children should not be made to feel it is their responsibility, but rather an act of love if they ultimately decide to take on the task of looking after their aged parents themselves.

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