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(Excerpt from "Psychics and Swords: The Amazing and Totally Plausible Adventures of Steve Walton")

We were led to a small, dirt-floored room. The curved, windowed walls wrapped around us, revealing dozens of eager faces. The room appeared to be just another side section of the warehouse, a place where the brainwashed disciples of Fred could gather and enjoy some Fredickus-sanctioned bloodlust.

The only door to the room slammed shut behind us. We both began removing the armor at the same moment, as it was much too restrictive for our Fayette Lake Kung Fu moves. I glanced about as I removed the plastic plating. Fred's voice, fully gloating, began to boom around us as he stepped up to a microphone behind the audience.

"Friends, I know you are all good, faithful students of my cause. So tonight, I give an extra-special treat to thank you. These two fiends, two hooligans that have attempted to stop me in the past-"

The crowd booed. Fred waited patiently for the sound to die down, then continued. "Tonight, these two will fight my very own guard, Grudge!"

The crowd hushed and froze in silence.

"Do you two have anything to say for yourselves before we begin?"

"Only the obvious," I said. "You keep saying 'tonight', but it's still early afternoon, jackass."

The red-cloaked guard shifted a bit as I finished. The audience began to hiss and wave their fists at me. Despite the circumstances, the effect was cute. Once the hissing stopped, Fred concluded his darling little speech.

"Very well. Prepare to meet your doom."

I turned to the door and braced myself, but turned again at a slight squeak that came from the windowed area. A section of the wall slid up, and the guard in the green cloak stepped out and dropped a few feet to the floor. A dramatic cloud of dirt puffed around his cloak as his booted feet impacted on the dirt.

"Hi," Cram said.

Grudge approached us rapidly, having decided to forgo the pleasantries. He lashed out with both arms, but we each managed to dodge the initial attack.

"Fight, fight, fight, that's all we ever do," I said as I dodged another blow. This guard moved with amazing speed and would have been difficult to battle one-on-one, but once again, the odds were in our favor.

"Yeah, fighting is cool," Cram said, kicking the enemy in the behind. Grudge responded with an immediate spin-kick of his own. Cram was caught by surprise and fell forward. As I watched the tumble, Grudge spun again and threw me down.

I heard Fred laughing and clapping. I decided

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