by Diana Tibert

Created on: April 10, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

I Can Hear You
Weaning Myself off the Listening Monitor

At the baby shower for my first child, my sister gave me a listening monitor. At first, it appeared to me to be an overrated item which babies and mothers could do without. I thought I would never use it; my mother survived without a monitor and raised ten kids. My sister explained many new mothers were using them to listen for when their children woke from sleeping.

I was sceptical, but found a place for it on the dresser in the baby's room. When I brought my baby home from the hospital, as a first time mom, I worried about not being there when she woke or if she spit up or choked. I plugged in the monitor every time she was sleeping.

All night I listened to it softly hum on the night stand and if my daughter coughed, I knew about it. I promised myself at the age of twelve months, I would give it up and become less paranoid. I broke my promise.

My second child arrived just 14 months after my daughter and the monitor sat there like a red beacon in the night. My son slept in our room for three months and my daughter's door was shut so she wouldn't hear us while I was up at night breastfeeding the baby.

I depended on the monitor to keep in touch with her through the wooden door. When my son moved to her room, the monitor kept watch over both of them. My excuse was a new baby who had a little breathing problem at birth.

Through the night, I listened to every breath and held mine if his was too low to hear. I often checked on him because his breathing sounded strange, just to find him snoring peacefully. The white and blue box with the tiny red light was a fixture on their dresser and my night stand. It kept me awake and aware of everything happening in the next room.

After two and a half years and many excuses, I decided it was time to wean myself from the monitor. The cord was increasingly harder to hide out of reach in the children's room and they often tried to grab the receiver end in my room.

The kids, both more than 15 months old, were happy and health and quite capable at letting me know when they were awake. Through walls and doors, I could clearly hear their voices as they sang, called out, cried or shouted at each other.

I began the weaning by keeping the monitor off during their afternoon nap. While I was awake, I felt secure I would hear the kids if they needed me. Especially since my daughter could open and close doors. She no long announced with a small voice in the darkness, "Samantha's waking up."

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