Family traditions are often hard to create in a divorced situation. Children are often shuttled between each parent on a rotating basis, making every other year different from the last year. But strong bonds and happy memories can be created. Children will remember those all of their lives. It's hard enough coordinating schedules between children and your ex spouse. But it is even harder to coordinate extended families around the every other year tradition. When possible, if it wasn't a conflict with my family plans, I always let my children join in their fathers family times even if it wasn't on the schedule. If I knew of their plans in advance, I tried to schedule around them. I tried very hard for my children not to feel left out of traditions they always had. Being flexible was the best for my children. And I tried very hard to always put my children first.

Every other year my children would miss the Christmas celebration with aunts, uncles, and cousins on my side of the family because they would be with their dad. I would take a lot of pictures of the celebration, so they wouldn't miss anything. I would get the pictures developed as soon as possible, as well. I let my children make phone calls to those that would be too far away during the holiday. Then I would take them to visit those that were closer. I made sure they knew exactly which gift came from which person and helped them write thank yous.

I used to do crafts with my children that they could use for gifts for their extended family members. They remember these times of us working and playing together. I always let them wrap their own gifts, no matter what the outcome looked like. Often I included a friend or two in our activities. Then even as teenagers, friends would come over and ask "what craft can we do today?"

I always let my children help me with holiday cards. They could add a note or picture as a personal greeting. This made sure they stayed connected with family they didn't see as often.

These became the family traditions my children remember now. They missed the parties with the whole family I used to host. But new traditions soon took their place. Being together, being active in your child's life, that is the tradition your children will remember most!

Learn more about this author, Lauren Rogers.
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