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Divorce and the affects on the children. This is a most common topic of discussion involved in divorce. Unfortunately, the children seem to be lost in the shuffle and their feelings forgotten amist all the animosity that divorce usually creates.

That said, every situation is so different and none can be compiled into the same category. This is virtually impossible.

A marriage that breaks down for various reasons without a doubt affects the children within that marriage. However, a marriage that breaks down due to excessive verbal abuse and or violence is a whole different matter.

How many divorced, or going through a divorce, couples are told from those well meaning family memebers "wouldn't it be best if you just toughed it out for the children?" This is a dangerous statement to make without knowing the situation. So those of you who think this, please take a moment to assess what you really know about the situation, and offer support, not advise or judgement.

Many families seperate over abuse issues. These are serious and can be life threatening. Whether it's the husband or the wife's abuse that is ruining the family, it's simply detremental to remove children from these situations.

When a spouse leaves an abusive situation, it let's your children know that they can stand up for themselves, that they don't have to be victims, that they can be strong. By staying in abusive situations, it only reaffirms to your children that this behavior is acceptable. This will produce children who will most likely become abusive in their early teens and almost guaranteed in adulthood, and will allow them to be victimized in all aspects of their lives.

Divorce is many instances is the right thing to do for the children's sake. Regardless of the situation, the children will often feel guilty and sorry for the other parent that was divorced, but, it will create individuals that are more likely to be self confident, stand up for what they believe is right, and be able to lead a healthy and happy life.

So, the next time you feel the urge to be judgemental or overly willing to offer your advice to a friend or family member in the midst of a divorce, keep your eyes and mind open to what might be right for that particular family.

Learn more about this author, Lauren Perry.
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