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This question is one that hits home for me. Even though this happened in my life many years ago.

My son was only 7 years old when the call from his biological father came. He asked if my husband would adopt our son. My first reaction was to cry and I sure did a lot of it back then. I was not crying because my husband agreed to adopt my son, but because his biological father could even think about giving him up. The thought of it made me so sick to my stomach. After a time, I did make it through, and, probably if the truth be known, my son was better off, being raised by us and having stability. The proof is in the way he turned out as an adult.

My son is 40 years old now, very responsible, very loving and very forgiving. For the past 5 years he has had a relationship with his biological father. Had my son not been forgiving he would not have had anything to do with his father, because he gave him to another man when he was 7 years old. I never talked about his father, never put him down, even though I was so very hurt by what he did. That was the whole thing, I was devastated by what happened, but I could not transfer that to my little son and mess up his life. I kept quiet and as the years passed by, so did my deep hurt. I have long since forgiven his father and therefore my son forgave him too and they have a good relationship. Not what it could have been, but better late than never for my son. He is a man now and he told me, "I don't need a daddy now", but I will be there for him, if he needs me. My ex-husband would do anything for our son now, just for the chance to see him. He just grew up a little late.

My husband adopted my son without any hesitation and helped me raise him along with his own children. It worked for us and our children are close to each other. My son has a big heart and loves my husband, who raised him, very much. He is Dad..... His biological father also sees him regularly and my son now has gotten to know him well enough to love him also. He tells me it is just a different kind of love. My husband is the father who was there coaching his little league, and teaching him to work on cars, fishing and all the things fathers do with their boys. His real father lost so much, but it was his choice, he can never get his son's childhood back or go through all those times that we had with him growing up. His closeness with his biological father does not bother us at all, it is actually a blessing for my son. You just never know when he might need

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