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Is there such a thing as emotional cheating? Absolutely! Sadly, many of us have been guilty of this type of cheating and may not have even known it. Often our conscience or social, religious or family sanctions will keep us from going over the edge into an actual, physical affair, but a relationship is so much more than just the physical.

One component of the relationship is the emotional component. This is the basis of that initial attraction; it is the basis of our emotional interactions with our spouse or significant other on a daily basis. In many ways, emotional cheating is much more devastating than physical cheating, especially to women.

Emotional cheating also often predates the act of cheating. It begins a little bit at a time. You notice that so and so is easy to talk to, and you begin to gradually share more of yourself with this person. Over time, the sharing becomes "cheating" when you offer a part of yourself to another that belongs only to your partner. Soon you may start turning to this other person rather than your partner with your emotional needs.

You begin to give that other person time and energy, especially thought energy that should go to your partner. In other words, you think about him or her often and in ways you should not. Usually the next step is comparison of your partner to the person you are "cheating" with. Your partner usually comes out on the losing end of this comparison, which is emotional cheating in and of itself.

Emotional cheating hits the very core of relationships. It takes away the essential connection between two people and gives it to someone else outside the relationship. That hurts just as much as physical cheating to the other partner. They may feel guilty or feel they aren't good enough to meet your emotional needs (and no one is). This may lead them to depression and more.

When you commit your heart to someone else, you are giving them the most precious gift you own, the very "heart" of who you are. When they take that precious gift and trample on it through emotional cheating, it can feel like one of the biggest betrayals of all.

Most (well, all) of those who cheat physically began by cheating emotionally. It's a gradual show process that can lead us far down the path before we're even aware of what's going on. That's why it's important to be aware of the potential for this problem and open with your spouse about emotional needs. Then put safeguards in place to keep yourself from falling into it. Keep that part of yourself for your significant other and work together to keep this connection between the two of you.

You do this by not sharing intimate things with others, either in person or on the internet. Set a boundary with your spouse and then say this far and no further. It's so easy to get carried away, especially with the relative anonymity of the internet, so make a decision that you will remain faithful in word, mind, heart and deed to your chosen mate and then be responsible for your self when you are around temptation.

Emotional cheating is a sign of someone with a problem. Deal with the underlying problems, whether in yourself or your relationship, and invest yourself fully in the relationship that matters instead of through vicarious relationships that cheat not only your mate, but yourself.

Learn more about this author, Angela S. Young.
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