by Lang Zaam

Created on: April 09, 2008   Last Updated: November 11, 2009

Yes, there are many reasons for some people not to believe in God. A great many people do not believe in God at all, because they were introduced in childhood to think that God is an angry person with a whip. In my very young years I was told about a God that threatened me with hell. To me he was a person with a pissed off look and my teachers of the bible slapped me around because I was not paying enough attention to their stories. My Father was frequently in a heated debate with my Mother and that sounded like protesting my Mothers' views of being protestant. After all, the bible teaches the word of God and to believe what he says is a must, so my mother would explain. The bible is the word of God but it really is a confusing metaphor of stories, believing in it and to take it literally as the word of God, became weaker as I got older. Until I was about 15 years old God was a scary person I wanted to get away from as far as I could. My reasons for not wanting to believe in a God was real until I became a young adult.

At the age of 18, I was drafted in the army and at an age of growing up to be a man. Interaction with my army friends must have contributed to deriving at a better understanding and in my spare times I read up on what others had to say about life and God. I certainly discovered first hand that we are not all equal in abilities. There were those that could run and swim and climb an obstacle with more agility. There were those that had better verbal and writing skills. There were those that already had strong opinions and convictions. Attending church services in the army was voluntary so I avoided going and wondered why some would go while you did not really have to.

My real attention was given to the writings of Baruch Spinoza, a philosopher of 350 years ago. In a masterful way and with great detail his ethics reasoned that God is actually nature. Wow, I discovered, that was my kind of God, a God I could comprehend, a God I could count on and believe in. This was 50 years ago and the start of living a lifetime in confidence and certainty. Living with God without the person or personality was an instant feeling of peace and tranquility as if the responsibility for my own life was up to me. Believing in God/nature was becoming a reality and attending church services was not on my list of activities. My kind of God started to be compared with the God of the bible.

To read the bible for guidance was like being sent from pillar to post. Mozes' God

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