by Michael Frissore

Created on: April 09, 2008

There are many things to consider when planning your wedding. Song choices, and your first dance, are important, but should not take up too much concern. This is coming from a male perspective. She'll want a classy song, one that she'd never listen to in her daily life. She'll also want the pair of you to learn a unnecessarily complicated dance that will cost you lots of time and money.

Having done the wedding thing, my opinion regarding the first dance is that simplicity and brevity are key. You may have received a coupon at a wedding fair for a free dance lesson or two. These lessons won't be nearly enough. By the end of your freebie, you'll find you need to know more. But you'll need to spend money. Well, if you're going to do it, do it. By then, if you've chosen Ella Fitzgerald's "Cheek to Cheek," and wifey-to-be wanted you to dance the stupid foxtrot, then you'd better get that down. Pay for the lesson, rent a video, or something.

The thing is it's not the dance that matters, or even the music. It's all your friends and family watching the two of you up there. So if you're on the floor just moving slowly together, who cares? Your song should be classy. You don't want your friends driving home making fun of you dancing to the mullety, 80s rock "Faithfully," by Journey.

Whatever the song, brevity is oh, so important. Don't bore your guests. Don't dance to "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." Even a four-minute song is pushing it. Get up there and do it quickly. Choose the themes from "Miami Vice" or "Jeopardy!" if you have to.

In summing up, here were my own personal experience: Wifey and I did choose "Cheek to Cheek," and she wanted us to foxtrot. It was a disaster. We weren't good enough and we ended up just winging it anyway. If you're not a dancer, go simple.

And I'll say it for the third time - brevity. For the groom/mother dance I chose the beautiful, and very short, "In My Life," by the Beatles. Perfect, simple dancing done in under three minutes. Wifey picked (and she'll kill me for writing this) "Desert Moon," by Dennis DeYoung. Why? Because of memories she has of she and her dad driving around in his Corvette to this silly song when she was a child. I pushed hard for John Mayer's "Daughters" for the bride/father dance. It's a beautiful song. There wouldn't have been a dry eye in the house. But, no, they may as well have danced to "American Pie," with the six plus minutes they were up there with this cheesy, Styx front man's solo project, 80s tunes that everyone's forgotten. Everyone's looking at their watches wondering if there's a gas station between them and the end of this stupid song.

Anyway, I ain't an advice columnist, but I have made mistakes, and if I can help anyone, then who wants to do that, really. I just wanted to tell the "Desert Moon" and "Cheek to Cheek" stories.

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