by Vernon Huffman

Created on: April 09, 2008

A wise teacher once told me that the past is no more fixed than the future. As we continue to learn to appreciate more diverse perspectives, our own story grows more complex and our attitudes evolve to embrace paradox. Fear, guilt and shame are erased by loving forgiveness. Every moment is a unique event, intricately interwoven with every other moment across all time - past, present, and future.

I could only be who I am where I am at this moment because of everything that happened in the past. Now I like who I am and feel pretty comfortable, so I embrace my past and tell my story proudly. But I acknowledge I'm not in control and thank the power that supersedes all understanding for keeping the universe aligned. I've made mistakes, attempted amends, and accepted forgiveness. It's a great relief to be only responsible for my own choice in this moment.

Surrounded by unconditional love since birth, I've never had cause to doubt the absolute power of love. I've learned gratitude for my ancestors who established communities, worked the underground railroad, and fought nonviolently for women's suffrage and universal human rights. We are not afraid of the future because we are not ashamed of the past. Now is a unique opportunity to do the greatest thing I can imagine myself capable of. I ask the fire permission to walk through.

I've been married for a total of twenty-three years to a series of three beautiful partners, each wonderful in a unique way. I've touched the lives of others, directly and indirectly, and can only pray that my net effect has been good. I've wasted precious time and missed great opportunities, but prefer to focus on the marvelous stories I've been blessed to experience as I've traveled about this miraculous planet.

My greatest pride is to have birthed only one baby into our crowded situation and to have taken great delight in watching her grow through healthy, natural struggle into an adventurous and capable woman. I've been privileged to participate in the processes of several other children and continue to enjoy surrounding myself with young eager minds. There is joy in voluntary service, especially in building hope through healing love.

I've struggled with the horrors we are capable of generating. Past lessons extract their ounce of flesh. Rapists, murderers, and torturers have done their worst and received their forgiveness, too. The evil that drove their hands has crossed my mind. There, but for grace, go I. Restorative justice is functional at every level of society. Let us harbor no resentment and make no enemies.

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