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At some time in our lives, we have people who had hurt us so much that we find ourselves unable to forgive the person who had done us wrong. What we fail to realize is that when we are unable to forgive those who had inflicted pain on us consciously or subconsciously, we are responsible for the heavy burden we carried each day of our lives. Until we are able to let go the negative emotions, we are held back from making positive changes.

Imagine carrying a sack of potatoes and these potatoes represent the weight of the burden we carry on our shoulders. Over time, the potatoes get rotten and then we add more potatoes into the sack with any pain incurred by others to us in terms of negative words or negative actions. The sack of rotten potatoes weighs us down and we are unable to progress due to this heavy burden which we carry each moment we hold on tight to the thought of what others had hurt us. In addition to the weight of the burden we carry, we allow the wound to fester and go bad.

Understand that once we let go of the hurt, we are able to let go the sack of rotten potatoes and be free to make progress for ourselves. When we are aware that the choice is ours to make, to free us from the chains we have tied ourselves. When we are able to break free of the chains of past hurt, we are able to make progress for ourselves and no longer have the victim mentality. We start empowering ourselves to be positive in our lives and take charge of how our lives can be great.

We do not forget what has been done to us and yet at the same time we stop allowing the hurt to grow on us. When we make the choice to let go of past hurts and forgive the person who had hurt us. When we forgive others and ourselves, we give the gift to ourselves that will change how we feel inside and set us free from the past for healing and positive change. Understand that forgiveness is not for the offender. We are able to understand another and have compassion once we are able to forgive.

Forgiveness is a thing we can do; changes how we feel inside. It is a releasing of the feelings that are causing us so many problems. It is a release of the anger, quilt, frustration or depression that is associated with what was done to us. Take time to reflect in our lives and give ourselves the gift of forgiveness and allow us to move forward.

Learn more about this author, Helen Tay.
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