by Randy Duckworth

Created on: April 08, 2008   Last Updated: October 28, 2009

Acceptance and equality are two things for which the gay community has fought a long and difficult battle. Although we have made great strides forward in recent years, the struggle is still far from over. It has always amazed me that there are still so many negative attitudes toward homosexuality today. After all, this is 2008, and we are supposed to be living in an enlightened society, aren't we?

As I have mentioned in a couple of my previous articles, I have been a participating member of several gay message boards. I guess I don't have to tell you that acceptance of gay people in society is always a huge topic of discussion on these boards...I mean, that's a no-brainer! What may surprise most people, however, is that even most gay people still have disagreements about this issue. Meaning that even though we all agree that we should be accepted, opinions about how this will be achieved vary widely.

Personally, I have always preferred a much less aggressive approach than most. In my opinion, getting up in people's faces and being extremely vocal has never been the answer. Here's why: people have a natural tendency to vehemently resist anything which they feel is being forced upon them against their will. This kind of vocal behavior is the same attitude that makes people resist religious folks whom they feel are trying to "shove God down their throats." This will only reinforce the negative image that most of society has of gays as "radicals." Let's face it, if we ever want to be truly accepted in this basically conservative society, this is just the kind of image that we need to avoid! Therefore, it is my estimation that this is not a tactic which is likely to change anyone's mind about the issue.

Don't get me wrong here...I'm not saying that we should ever allow ourselves to be discriminated against or mistreated, but I do think that a less aggressive approach would ultimately be far more effective in attaining acceptance. While I definitely believe that those who use this aggressive approach have good intentions, it has been historically proven that those kind of tactics almost always have the exact opposite effect from what was intended. By doing this, we may be "shooting ourselves in the foot," so to speak. In the end, I believe that the use of these heavy-handed methods actually hurt our chances for acceptance far more than they will ever help them.

I think that instead of trying to fix the way others react to us, we should take a real good, hard look

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