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Where is this place called Dignity

Where is this place called dignity?
There was a time I thought I knew
with certainty,
yet now it alludes me so.

One strives to gain a sense of pride,
to be that person meant to be.
A churning chasm of success,
illusive sadness engulfed me like a cloud.

Where is this place called dignity?
To win the praise of others,
through diplomas, and plaques,

a shallow humpty dumpty ready to fall.

Now I live with a constant despair.
To lose all pride and status,
former life a vague aching memory,
living with depression and the stigma of
mental illness.....

Where is this place called dignity?
Am I now a leper who is shunned
because of what I have that I cannot
fling away into bright sunrise?

In hospital with others who know...
pilgrims who travel common pathway,
people who feel the loneliness
of being treated as... not normal.

Where is this place called dignity?
It resides within my heart
It is the undying spark that defines me.
It is my courage.

To quit is to dim the spark of courage...
I will not give up.
" God fan the embers of my fleeting courage,
into a flame of hope."

Where is this place called dignity?
It is within me as I weep...
It is within me despite the mood altering drugs
that I cannot seem to focus without.

Dignity is my courage.
Courage gives me hope,
in spite of ECT with jolting spasm,
leaving me with such a sense of... sorrow.

Where is this place called dignity?
It is within my shuffling steps,
regardless of another's praise or understanding,
for I have chosen to live and not to die.

I am but a shadow of my former self...
Or was my former self but a shadow of who I really am?
This is my metamorphosis...I stretch forth feeble wings,
to fly into the promise of a new tomorrow.

If I travel this pathway to find
a summit where mind is clear,
then on this trek I will embark
with a sense of courage, dignity and hope...

Learn more about this author, John Krohn PhD.
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