by Penny B

Created on: April 05, 2008

Communication and talking can be two very distinctly different things in a
relationship. While talking is a good thing between two people, it's not
exactly communicating. However it is a good start, especially if you are either
beginning a relationship or if you find that you've both become distant over the
years. It can be hard to think of things to say if you spend each and every single

day with each other. Sometimes you might not even feel like talking at all, but
it doesn't have to stop you from communicating with the other person.

JUST TALK

When talking, you can be discussing something as mundane as the weather.
You can talk about your views on politics or critique the movie you just watched together. You can even discuss your jobs or the kids or how your day went. You can convey your thoughts and ideas verbally, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you are actually "communicating" with each other.

So many couples are under the misconception that because they talk, they are
in fact communicating, but it certainly isn't always the case. In fact, sometimes
just talking can become such an effort in itself. Then they presume that because
they have said a few words to each other, they've just "communicated"... job
complete. Which brings me to the point, when talking does become such an
effort as that, communication is so far removed from the situation.

COMMUNICATION

Communication, on the other hand, is about getting to really know each other,
knowing their likes and dislikes and respecting each other for them. It's about
really listening and learning how to read between the lines. It's when you can
feel the emotion in their voice and truly understand what it is they're trying to
convey.

Another distinct quality of communication is that you don't even really have
to verbalize at all in order to communicate. The body language of your partner
can speak volumes if you are in tune with them. When in tune, you are basically
aware of their needs without them having to spell it out. True communication is
about breaking down the barriers of solid substance and really feeling the heart
and soul of the other person.

I believe that while in a relationship, you can actually pin point when the
communication has just been downgraded to "talking". While in the midst of a
discussion, if the words are soon forgotten shortly after, they've lost their
importance in a matter of minutes or hours, then you've just "talked". If you
actually felt their emotions and sensed how they really felt about the discussion,
then you've truly communicated.

OTHER FORMS OF COMMUNICATION

Another distinction between talking and communicating, is that talking only
involves the vocal chords and possibly eye contact.

Communication can also use the other senses. It can be a hug or a kiss that's
truly heart-felt. If you see that your partner is upset or uneasy, a hug can
communicate to them that you care and are there for them. It can also be
something as simple and uncomplicated as a touch on the arm or shoulder, a brush of your hand across their cheek. A hug or kiss by itself can communicate your love and affection for that person. It can be that special look of care and concern in your eyes.

Without being too graphic, the act of lovemaking is definitely a show of
communication with the one you love. It involves touching, kissing, caressing,
holding and hugging, without a word being spoken. None need be said when
your actions towards each other, in a loving and compassionate manner, says
it all.

Communication is the true foundation to a good and solid relationship. Without it, you have just become acquaintances who might happen to live together and
talk from time to time

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