by Elaine Sihera

Created on: April 05, 2008

The Importance of Spontaneity in Romance

Being spontaneous in your love life is crucial, always retaining the element of mystery. This should prevent you being too rigid in your approach to your partner. The little changes you make can bring fun, excitement and adventure, yet are quite easy to implement. For example, if you are a church-goer, you could skip church sometimes and sleep in or take a romantic walk together along a river or waterway. The choice is up to you both but it must be satisfying. As an old boyfriend would say, "being naughty, but very, very nice!" Just by doing one spontaneous, and entirely unplanned, activity together per week, you'll be amazed at the new life your relationship develops. One other boyfriend and I loved to play Scrabble on our computer, while teasing each other, embracing and just being silly with the game. It was so loving, and so lovely.

Being spontaneous and romantic was one of the hallmarks of my long marriage before the problems began. We used to go to one of the local pubs on the Marlow High Street every Friday in the summer, at different times, just to sit outside it for a while to talk, drink, watch the world go by and simply enjoy each other's company for a while. The best memory of spontaneity between us relates to one night, in our mid-forties, when we were returning from a London event at about midnight. The kids were much older then, which restricted our available privacy. As we were passing a heavily wooded area not far from our house, feeling suddenly randy I suggested we should drive into it. He must have been feeling the same because, surprisingly, and without hesitation, my ex-husband agreed. We were into the woods like a shot, having one of the most passionate love-making sessions in the car. We drove home calmly and coolly some moments later, strolling in with bright grins on our faces to face our teenagers, as if nothing had happened! This unexpected spontaneity was a source of private pleasure for us each time we passed the woods.

Spontaneity must run in our family because I remember staying with one of my sisters, Marjorie, 43 and her husband, who is in his fifties, are very close after 15 years together. They were always hugging and canoodling. It was great to see them still enjoying their relationship after their years together. They still behave like teenage kids in their attraction for each other and she sometimes complains that she cannot keep up with him! Come to think of it, all my sisters are

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