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I sat outside the building I live watching people pass by yet I wasn't really seeing them. I was lost in thought. I willed myself out of my reverie for my dark thoughts were only increasing my anguish.

At that moment, something caught my attention; a bird flying in the sky. I watched it as it flew, flapping its wings to its birdhouse. Almost without a care I thought, for it need not strive or toil, it knows its needs would be met.

And here I was, a human, having difficulties. The basics of life were so difficult to get. I had no job and lived in an area where there were thousands of other persons who were job seekers. Some were graduates but had no job so that they could have money to put food on the table and clothing on ones back. I should also mention that some of them were family heads yet had little or nothing on hand to feed their family.

My landlord was already threatening me with eviction and my efforts to get a loan from friends proved abortive. Even if I did get a job, I had a bad case of allergy that made working full time a problem, since I would have to call in sick frequently.

The bird I watched made me remember a man I had greeted on his was to his farm. His shoulders were held low as I imagined him thinking of the days toil. I imagined him striving laboriously and tirelessly, for as he passed by on his way home, he looked tired and spent.

On his shoulders lay all the cares of the world, for his family of six looked up to him for their needs.

My situation and that of the man made me think of the disparity existing between humans and other living things. I remember seeing a ruminant giving birth a fortnight past. Its calf seemed unsure on its spindly legs. Yet in no time it began to skip about after its mother urged it on. Near its mother it finally lay as she grazed. Almost without a care I thought.

This made me reflect on the time I had worked as the secretary of a hospital before I became jobless. One of the constant sights was of women laboring. I left my office once and sat close to the labor ward and watched as they led a woman in. Panting and groaning she was, because the baby was knocking. On her lay all the fears in the world for she realized she could labor for hours or be cut open to answer the baby.

After a while, a sigh of relief as the baby cried yet in her heart laid the uncertainty of its tomorrow.

I realized that living for man is a constant struggle along with uncertainties unlike what it is for lower living creatures. Making decisions and living in the aftermath of those decisions, having the responsibility of fending for oneself and for those who look up to you and most of the time, ends never meet.

Yet, the struggle never stops us from wanting to be humans for we have the privilege of being self willed which other creatures lack, and the privilege of being above other living things.

Learn more about this author, Patience Harrison-Utoro.
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